Tuesday, December 30, 2008

2009 Crystal Ball

The Christmas tree has come down and I am wringing my hands about college basketball, so it must be time for my annual Nostradumbass predictions!!! Considering that last year I made predictions like the sun would bring havoc to Earth and that the UK basketball team would make the SEC championship game, the fact that I batted about .675 isn’t that bad. I have reached deep into my ass to pull these predictions. Enjoy.

1. GDP will continue to fall in the first quarter of 2009, will stabilize by the second quarter and rise during the third quarter. People like Hannity and Limbaugh will preach doom and gloom and claim that Obama’s policies have drove us into Depression 2.0. However, this fear mongering will lower people’s expectations so much that when we receive otherwise bad news, it won’t be as bad as people expected, thereby raising consumer confidence and saving the economy. Of course Hannity and Limbaugh will say that Bush was right all along and it was his policies that kept the economy afloat.

2. Craig Venter will create the first synthetic life form and it will be far more complex than people will have anticipated. Venter claims that within five years he will be able to create a multi-cellular organism.

3. By the end of 2009 troop levels in Iraq will match those at the end of 2008. Troop levels in Afghanistan by the end of 2009 will be 50% greater than those at the end of 2008.

4. Oil will briefly trade at $25 a barrel before stabilizing around $50 a barrel for most of 2009. However, this is going to be a very bad thing. Oil-producing countries have grown dependent upon high oil prices to prop up their economy and pacify their citizens with an ever increasing standard of living. If the last 250 years of Russian history has taught us anything, it is that when the villagers get restless, Mother Russia usually attacks its neighbors. Nothing brings people together like a common enemy. The clerics in Iran are going to have the same problem with their populace if oil prices stay low.

5. Apps, Apps and more Apps. We are going to see an explosion of break-through applications on the Apple App Store. Those kids in Silicon Valley whose parents were teaching them HTML at the age of 3 back in the Dot-Com Boom are now teenagers and they are going to get rich writing applications in their bedroom for the iPhone and iPod Touch. I give it less than six months before we have someone under the age of 18 make their first million dollars from an application they wrote in their bedroom instead of doing homework.

6. 2009 will be the year that at least one first world country bans incandescent light bulbs.

7. The coalescence of speech recognition, web search, GPS and personalized information being stored in the cloud, is going to bring about the first useful internet assistants. My dream of having Jane in my ear will begin to finally be realized and we will see the “birth” of such creatures this year.

8. Obama will institute a temporary moratorium on residential home foreclosures.

9. I hate to say it, by I do think we are going to see a major attack on the US that will force the Obama administration to make a choice in using Constitutional executive powers or those over reaches used by the Bush administration. While there will be some grey areas, in the end, I think the administration will do the right thing.

10. My last prediction was going to be the possibility of Israel attacking Iran unilaterally because of uranium enrichment, but I am going to end on a happier note and predict that my beloved Kentucky Wildcats will finish the season much better than people anticipate, with us in the Championship Game for the SEC Conference.

Yes, I am aware that the last one is just copy and pasted from last years predictions but really, the Cats are going to do it this year.

Friday, December 19, 2008

A Father's Heartache

Last night Sophie was playing with an original 1977 Star Wars R2-D2 Astromech Droid (Thanks Dan!) and kept holding it up to me saying:

“Daddy! Robot!”

Which of course I had to respond by saying, “No, Sophie. That is a droid. Specifically a R2-D2 Astromech Droid.”

Then the conversation went:

“Robot.”
“No. Droid.”
“Robot”
“No, Sophie. A Droid.”
“Robot!”
“Sophie, it is a droid.”
“Robot!! Robot!!”
“A Droid.”
“Robot!!!”

Finally, Anna stepped in and solved the problem by waving her hand and stating, “Sophie, that is not the droid you are looking for.”

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Stuck in my head

I have had this song stuck in my head all day. So I thought I would share and get it stuck in your head as well.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Favor.

Anyone out there have a cocktail dress that will fit a 6'4" man wearing a DD bra, that they will let me borrow?

Friday, October 24, 2008

A Little Help From Your Opponents

Let me offer a little help to Gov. Palin. The answer to the question is "Yes". No need to sigh. No need to hem and haw. You say "Yes".

Why is that so hard? And why the hell does John McCain sit there and not step in and say, "Yes, that is a terrorist act."

I wonder if she thinks Timothy McVeigh was a terrorist? Or was his beliefs just a little too close to those of the Alaska Independence Party's platform.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Little Black Jungle Book

Tonight at dinner an event occurred and it has my brain locked up trying to process. We are eating spaghetti and the Jungle Book is on in the background. This in itself is not unusual, because if you are a denizen of my household, then you have every syllable of Wallace and Gromit & The Jungle Book burned into your mind for all of eternity. Anyway, we are sitting around eating happily as a family when all of sudden my daughter starts having a conniption fit while trying to twist her neck in order to see the television. The reason for this sudden explosion of squirm is that "The Girl" starts singing "My Own Home" in the last scene of the movie. Before I go any further, let me let you watch this scene.



After being freed from her barbaric restraints, she immediately runs into the living room to finish watching this scene where "The Girl" uses her feminine charms upon the dope Mowgli. The disturbing part is the intensity in which Sophie was watching this scene. It was if she was already in training; batting her eyelashes and tilting her head in order to get boys to do her bidding.

The thing that kills me is that she has already learned this lesson and uses these techniques upon the dope that is her dad. At two years old, she has learned that she can tilt her head down and to the side, bat her eyelashes and smile and I will give her pretty much anything she wants.

I am doomed.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Outright Stealing

I am going to blanetly rip these images off of Fark because they are funny. Sorry Drew, but you were supposed to buy me a beer at Younts' and since it is closed, this is how I will take my payment.
Wing Nut. It still cracks me up.



And last but not least, Lexington's very own JAMES BROWN!!!! I hope you have a good place to sleep tonight.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Sharpen Your Pitchforks and Make Some Torches.

I have been traveling around the country, peeking into your windows at night and have come to the conclusion that each of you are sleeping too soundly. Apparently not everyone has the same combination of back pain and deep seeded paranoia that I have; so, with an impish grin on my face, I am taking it upon myself to force a little insomnia upon you.

While my hand-crafted tin-foil hat has many advantages (including a +5 to my wife thinking I am a dork), it is rather ineffective in shielding me from electoral college nightmares. Last night the newest individual state polling data was released; and with it, the nightmare that would be worse than having to sing karaoke with Cthulu, became a very real possibility.

Right now, if you give Obama and McCain whatever state they are leading in (we are talking the aggregate of the state polls) then the final electoral college count comes to 269 to 269.

A tie.

This really isn’t that far fetched a scenario. You don’t have to do a bunch hypothetical gymnastics to reach a 269 to 269 situation. Just a fairly conservative distribution of states to the candidate that is currently leading.

Soooooo, what happens. The simple answer (which you should have learned in elementary school civics) is that the House of Representatives would elect the President and the Senate would elect the Vice-President. On the House of Representative side, each state only gets one vote. So the delegations from each state would get together and a decide for whom they would cast their one vote. California would get one vote and Alaska would get one vote. The breakdown of congressional districts would make it appear that in the event of an electoral college tie, Obama would come out on top; but, I don’t think it would easy. For example, lets examine the situation of poor Nancy Boyda and Dennis Moore of Kansas. Kansas has four representatives, two Republicans and two Democrats. Can you imagine the situation Rep. Boyda and Rep. Moore would be in? Obviously being Democrats you would think they want to cast their vote for Obama; but, their state and most likely congressional districts would have just voted for McCain. In the end, while it will be tough, I think Obama would prevail.

On the Senate side it gets a little more complicated. Right now polls suggest that Democrats will control 55 seats come January. Also US Code Title 3 states that it will be the NEW congress inaugurated in January that would break ties. So no problem right? Biden would be elected as VP and we all open a bottle of beer in celebration. Not so fast. The electoral votes are delivered to Congress in December and Amendment 12 to the Constitution states that in the event of a tie in the electoral college Congress "shall choose immediately, by ballot”. The key word there is immediately. It doesn’t say January when the new Congress is in place; but immediately. Soooooo, the argument could be made (and would be) that US Title Code 3 is unconstitutional and that the existing Senate needs to elect the VP.

Currently the makeup of the Senate is 49 Republicans, 49 Democrats and 2 Independents. Both Independents tend to vote with the Democrats; BUT, one of them is Lieberman. That is right, the same Joe Lieberman that spoke at the Republican National Convention. If he cast his vote for Palin (which doesn’t seem far fetched) then we have a tie in the Senate. Guess who then casts the deciding vote.

Dick Cheney.

Made your blood run cold didn’t it?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

For Your Consideration.

I thought you might be interested in seeing some artwork that Sophie produced this evening. After she drew each one she promptly informed me what exactly what it was that I was looking at.

I will provide you with descriptions (just in case the illustrations are not quite clear).


DOG







EYES







PLANE

Dealer inquiries can be addressed to Sophie's college fund.


Monday, September 22, 2008

A Republican Soliloquy

My apology to the Prince, I honestly mean no disrespect.



And yes, I am aware that I misquoted the second line; but Bill Shakespeare messed up and the misquote sounds better.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Return of the No Name Comic

As before. You can click on the comic to see a bigger version.

Land Ho!

I apologize fer takin' so long t' post a new blog, but as ye may be havin' read on Anna`s blog, we spent o'er wonderful tides in Kansas. I do be havin' many things that I be havin' about half written that I want t' talk about. More on th' election. Me take on Spore an' th' damn DRM attached. However, in th' meantime, ye be only goin' t' get this post. However, as an extra special treat, around lunch time, I will post a new webcomic.

Ye heard that correctly, ya lily livered swabbie, I be postin' a new webcomic!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Htrae Attacks!!

For the past few days I have been at a loss to explain John McCain’s pick of Sarah Palin as his Vice President. I just couldn’t wrap my brain around the selection because it just didn’t make any sense. Then suddenly this morning it all became clear. Sometime during this long presidential campaign, Htrae, or as it more commonly referred to, Bizarro World, as started an invasion of Earth.

For those of you not familiar with Bizarro World, it is the world from which Bizarro Superman hails, and its population desires nothing more than to be the opposite of Earth. The Bizarro Code states, "Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World!"

I am sure that many of you are asking why does Sarah Palin’s nomination prove that Earth is under assault from Htrae. Let me explain.

The Republican Party’s first President was Abraham Lincoln, a man that felt so strongly in the need to preserve the Union, that he waged a war against its citizens to fight the belief that individual states had a right to secede from the Union. Now the Republican Party has nominated a woman for Vice President that belonged to the Alaskan Independence Party, whose platform is based solely on the belief that Alaska has the right to secede from the Union.

John McCain has based his entire campaign upon the argument that he alone has the ability to make the thoughtful and wise judgment calls that a President is routinely forced to make. Yet his first presidential decision was to choose a woman that he had only met once and was never fully vetted. He went with his gut feeling.

The party that likes to bill itself as the party of “family values” has nominated a woman that is going to leave her five month old son with special needs at home so she can participate in a grueling presidential campaign. Her 17 year old daughter has become an unwed teen mother. While I personally don’t think either of these are any of our business, it certainly is bizarre that she is the nominee for the party of “family values”.

The Republicans like to talk about how the Democrats are weak on national security and foreign affairs, yet they nominate a woman that has stated that she really hasn’t given the Iraq situation much thought and that the only argument for her having foreign policy experience is the fact that Russia is close to Alaska. Apparently we are supposed to believe that experience works by osmosis.

In the comics the reader is never truly worried because Superman always shows up to save the day; but, unfortunately here in the real world we don’t have the Son of Krypton. The last line of defense for Earth to hold off the current invasion of Bizarro World is the boy of a single mother with big ears and strange name. Let us all hope that Lex McCain doesn’t get his hands on Kal-El Obama’s version of kryptonite.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Wow. Talk about Inexperience



Oh I don't know. Being President of the Senate and casting the deciding vote on tied legislation has been pretty important. But maybe she hasn't actually ever read the Constitution. I should send her a copy.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Let us not forget

As I sit and watch the 2008 DNC convention, it is easy to forget the bigger picture. All of this talk of the Hillary PUMAs is merely a distraction. I want to remind you of where we are and what we are fighting for, but my prose lacks the eloquence. But I know someone that spoke the truth and I want to share it with you today because it is just as valid now as it was then. Just replace "John Kerry" with "Barrack Obama" and it still resonates today.

Any takers?

Chad Reese now owes me a beer, because I bet him on Friday night that Biden would be picked as Obama's VP. I am now going to offer up another wager.

I bet Obama wins the electoral college with over 300 electoral votes.

Any takers?

Friday, August 22, 2008

This is sad.

Am I the only one waiting anxiously by the phone like a teenage girl thinking that the cute older boy is going to call?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Wooohooooo!!!!!!!!!!

I have just been accepted into the Apple iPhone Developer Program.

Here is the plan.

Step 1. Get accepted into the iPhone Developer Program.
Step 3. Profit.

Brilliant.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Moss on a Rolling Stone

Ahhhh, the annual Beloit College Mindset List. This annual list was originally designed to be given to college professors as a gentle reminder that common cultural references may not be known by their incoming freshmen. It never fails to make me feel old, but this year it seems especially bad. Here are some examples of things true for individuals entering college as freshman this year.

Students entering college for the first time this fall were generally born in 1990.
GPS satellite navigation systems have always been available.

Electronic filing of tax returns has always been an option.

Coke and Pepsi have always used recycled plastic bottles.

Students have always been "Rocking the Vote.”

IBM has never made typewriters.

There has always been Pearl Jam.

The Tonight Show has always been hosted by Jay Leno.

They have never known life without Seinfeld references from a show about “nothing.”

Crazy, huh. Ok, one more shock. Here is a picture of Anna and me that we just received from Rachael. I don't know if it makes you feel old, but it sure does me. Although Anna is still hot.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Unholy Pit of Doom

Let me let you in on one of those little secrets about marriage. There are some things that you just have to accept about your spouse, for better or worse. Even if it grates against your last nerve and is antithetical to everything you hold dear.

My side of the bed is that for my lovely bride. H.P. Lovecraft could have written a story about the unholy aura that it emanates. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. When new sheets need to be placed on the bed, I am the one that has to gingerly navigate its depths.

I remember a few months back that Anna did a meme (she insists it wasn't, but I don't believe her) where you list the books on your bedside table. So, I thought I would guide you through the forbidden realm that is my side of the bed. Please remember to keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times.

The Complete Joy of Homebrewing Third Edition (Harperresource Book)

The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World 2008 (Unofficial Guides)

Bachman Books: 4 Early Novels by Richard Bachman, Author of The Regulators

The Human Story: Our History, from the Stone Age to Today

Number of the Beast

Coup d'État: A Practical Handbook

The Elfish Gene: Dungeons, Dragons and Growing Up Strange

This hasn't been released yet, but Anna brought me a copy from the library early. She is so nice.

How the Irish Saved Civilization (Hinges of History)

Bowling Alone : The Collapse and Revival of American Community

Job: A Comedy of Justice

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (Harper Fiction)

Democracy Matters: Winning the Fight Against Imperialism

Everyone should read this book.

The Trouble With Physics: The Rise of String Theory, The Fall of a Science, and What Comes Next

Telempath

Foucault's Pendulum

Might be the best book I have ever read. Seriously.

Stranger in a Strange Land

Fahrenheit 451: A Novel

Great Ghost Stories

Steve Jackson's GURPS, Basic Set Third Edition (Generic Universal RolePlaying System)

Suppressed Inventions

The Best of H. P. Lovecraft: Bloodcurdling Tales of Horror and the Macabre

The Fair Tax Book: Saying Goodbye to the Income Tax and the IRS

Piece of rubbish dressed up as a good idea. Be afraid of friends and family that own this book.

Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Treasury

The Affluent Society

The Fellowship of the Ring: Being the First Part of The Lord of the Rings (The Lord of the RIngs)

The Catcher in the Rye

Lexington: Queen of the Bluegrass (KY) (Making of America)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Death Match to the Extreme!!!!

Yesterday, I received my long awaited iPhone. This phone is an amazing piece of technology and eclipses many of my already high expectations; however, there are a couple of things I am confused about. Many in the press call the iPhone by another name, the Jesus Phone. After having the phone for over 24 hours, I am not sure if the phone is supposed to be the actual second coming of Christ or if the phone is merely the messiah for all cell phones in the world brought to Earth to forgive their sins.

No matter. You aren't here to read a blog post about some absurd theological point, or blasphemy, depending on your perspective. No, you are here for my review of the iPhone. Well, since over the last two weeks the internet has been transformed into nothing but iPhone reviews, I thought it was important that I offer something a little different. So, faithful readers, I present...

THE iPHONE v GIANT CAN OF BEER MATCH-UP.



On first blush, you might ask yourself, what the hell does the iPhone have to do with a giant can of beer. Well, not much, but that isn't going to stop me from comparing the two.

Life Enhancement.

The iPhone allows me to surf the web with an almost desktop like experience. In addition, the New York Times application gives me an updated and in-depth analysis of current events. However, the giant can of beer helps blur reality and makes me care a little bit less about the sorry state of the world. The iPhone does come with a monthly charge that hits the 'ol pocketbook pretty hard, but the giant can of beer might cause me to puke my guts out and wake up with a hangover.

Advantage: TIE

Battery Life.

The iPhone's battery life is top of its class for 3G phones, but because it is so damn cool, you find yourself using battery hungry applications all the time which leads to a depleted battery. in addition, Steve Jobs in his infinite wisdom, has decreed that there will not be a user replaceable battery in the iPhone. Of course this is an excellent design choice, because it will mean that our iPhones will die earlier and allow us to get new iPhones. Brilliant. Thank you Steve Jobs.

The giant can of beer however has the advantage of being able to actually generate electricity. Maybe not a lot, but more than the iPhone. Here is an article on the "Beer Battery"

Advantage: Giant Can of Beer

Sound Quality.


The very first call I made on the iPhone sounded like the other end was in a bucket, but since then, I have been very impressed with audio quality. The giant can of beer might be able to make phone calls if we have two and a bit of string; but I am doubtful as to the sound quality.

Advantage: iPhone

In the end, after a sophisticated investigation and rigorous scientific analysis, the age old battle of the iPhone v Giant Can of Beer ends in a tie. But really, in the end, would you have wanted it any other way?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Roller Coaster of Doom

I know that I have been very bad about posting to my blog and truthfully, I don’t have any really good excuses. You, my dutiful readers, deserve a nice long post that is humorous, insightful and eloquent. My weekend being a single parent to both Sophie and Riley would fit the bill. Or maybe a post about how I have finally broken down and ordered an iPhone.

I could write about these things, but “No Soup For You!” Instead you are going to receive a boring post that borders on being scary about the dangers of inflation and recession and what you should be doing to protect yourself.

For a while now I have been growing increasingly concerned about the state of our economy. I don’t know if you remember, but back when gas was about $2.85 a gallon I warned you that it would hit $4.00 by Labor Day of 2008. Well it did it a couple of months earlier than I thought. I am still worried about gas prices (actually I am very worried), but there is very little we or anyone can do about it (except maybe Bush, who could unequivocally tell Israel to NOT attack Iran. See this post on why that would be VERY good); but, I have another concern that I am just as worried about, if not more worried.

Inflation has been playing peek-a-boo with the Fed for over a year and half now; but, the economy has been in such a sorry shape that they haven’t dared raise interest rates to combat it. And the truth is, that was the right decision because while inflation has been growing, it hasn’t been to point where anyone needed to hit the panic button. It is troublesome though. When you have recession and inflation at the same time, it creates a whole shit-storm of a mess that is very difficult to get out of. Those of us in our late twenties to early thirties won’t really remember it, but ask your parent’s about how fun the stagflation (recession mixed with inflation) of the ‘70s was. Back then if you had great credit, you would be lucky to get a home mortgage with a 14% interest rate. Think about that for a moment. Great credit with a 20% down payment on a home got you an interest rate of 14%. That was life in the 70s.

However, our parents had one thing going for them during this time that we don’t have now. Rising wages. While inflation grew and the economy was in a recession and oil prices went through the roof, they also had a comparable rise is wages. So while it sucked really badly, most people could get by. Today, with the global marketplace, wages have hit a plateau and no economist expects wages to rise anytime soon. Even if inflation gets out of control.

That brings me to today and why I have written this post. All last week, Bernanke kept repeating the mantra that he was not going to bail out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. He kept insisting that they were solid and we had nothing to worry about. Sunday night that all changed. Right before the markets opened in Asia for trading on Monday, Bernanke announced that he was going to seek authorization from Congress to bail out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Why is this important? Well currently these two companies own the debt to HALF of all mortgages in this country. They are the ONLY two companies that are still buying mortgages off of banks. If they go under, there will be no one left to buy mortgages from banks. If there is no one buying mortgages from banks, then banks won’t be making mortgages, if there is no banks making mortgages, there will be no one buying homes, if there is no one buying homes, there will be a large surplus on the market, if there is a large surplus on the market, prices will drop, etc. etc. etc. I could keep going but it only gets worse from there.

Here is the problem, the bail out isn’t going to solve the problem at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. It is only going to a band-aid and effectively kicks the football down the road a couple of years. This bail out is also why I am now hitting the panic button. As I am sure you are aware, the dollar is the toilet right now and when the Fed bails out these two companies, it is going to destroy the Federal Reserves balance sheet, which is going to make the dollar even more vulnerable than it already is, which in turn leads to greater inflationary pressure. In fact the situation from an inflationary standpoint is far more precarious than it was in the ‘70s because our national debt is far larger than it was in the ‘70s and the debt we do have is no longer American owned. Historically, Republicans would make the argument that our national debt was no big deal because the debt was owned by Americans. Basically, we were borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. This is no longer the case. Most of our debt is now owned by foreign governments.

To make a long story short (too late), we are primed to have inflation grow faster than anytime since before WWII, no increase in wages, a deep recession based on the price of gasoline and middle class families in a position where they will be able to buy far less for much more. I hope I am wrong, but I don’t think I am.

So, what can you do? I have a real bad habit of not practicing what I preach but I am going to make a very concerted effort to prepare. If nothing happens, then great, I am far better off financially than I was before and I go about my merry way. But if I am right, well…. I had better get off my ass and prepare like I am advising you to do.

1. Emergency Fund. First and foremost, you need to have some money set aside for emergencies. You should have three months worth of your expenses set aside for emergencies, but if you don’t have this set aside, it can seem like an impossible task. At minimum, every one of you should have at least $1,000.00 put aside for emergency expenses. If your tires blow out on your car and you have to get to work, the last thing you want is to have to go deeper in debt.

2. Organize your debt. Make sure that all the debt you have (mortgage payment, credit cards, student loans, car payments, etc.) are manageable. When I say manageable, I am talking about making sure that your monthly payments are such that you can handle them without going hungry. Make sure those monthly payments stay at reasonable level, even if interest rates go through the roof. This is important. You may be thinking, yeah, I can handle the minimum payments easily if things get rough; but, you need to remember that if inflations gets really bad, then interest rates are going to go up, which means those payment on all variable rates are also going to go up.

3. Retirement. Continue to put money into your retirement account. Your retirement account is your long term bet. You are not supposed to be thinking about it in short term goals, so it is important to continue to fund it even when things are bad.

4. Shop Smart. Goods are never going to be cheaper than they are today. So, when you go shopping, if you see something on sale that you use regularly, buy a lot of it. This goes for almost everything. If you buy 10 things of shampoo when it is on sale, you are going to be spending far less money in the long run. Not only will you have gotten it at a better price, but you will already have it in stock so that is money that you won’t have to spend later when you might not have it. This is doubly important when it comes to food. Food costs are the one area that I think are going to rise the most and it is the one area that you can’t do without.

5. Decrease your Energy Use. Not only is it better for the environment, but it will save you money and prepare you for possibly drastically increased costs in the future. Drive less, get a smaller car, use less air conditioning, use the heater less, etc. etc. etc.

Last but not least, if you feel that you are already adequately prepared for the above scenario and want to figure out how to profit from it, remember, tobacco, alcohol and gambling stocks all do very well when the economy crashes and burns. Sad but true.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Let me stall for a little more time

Almost a month ago I was tagged to this meme by Patrick and then I was later tagged to do it by Fish, so I figured it was time.

Ok, I am supposed to write my memoir in six words. I have liked this idea since I first heard about it on NPR (if you are interested here is the link to the NPR report on the idea).

Anyway, here is mine.

"Still waiting on my flying car."

Monday, June 30, 2008

The Grey Lady, are you o.k.?

I promise an actual real post is coming but in the mean time take a look at this.

It is an article from the New York Times. Within the article there is a picture and the caption refers to the milk jugs as "the new fangled jugs".

New fangled? Really? In the New York Times?

I thought "new fangled" was one of those strange southern expressions that we use to confuse yankees. Fangled is not in the dictionary. I checked.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Onion Predicts The Future

The recording industry has lost its marbles. This is evident when when actual real news reads almost exactly like an article out of The Onion.

The RIAA is pushing legislation forward that would force Radio Stations to pay royalties for broadcasting copyrighted Music. Here is a link to WIRED article on the topic.

The RIAA is claiming that AM and FM broadcasting is a form of piracy and wants the industry to pay 7 billion in royalties each year. Here is where the absurdity comes in. Back in 2002 The Onion wrote an article about the RIAA suing radio stations for piracy because they were broadcasting copyrighted music. Both articles read almost exactly the same. The biggest difference is that the actual "news" article from WIRED states that the RIAA wants 7 billion dollars. In the Onion article they sue for 7.1 billion dollars.

I just commented to Anna last night that the issue of copyright and piracy is becoming completely absurd; but, I had no idea that has become literal.

Let me offer a little advice to anyone reading. If your actions ever begin to resemble an Onion article, it is time to re-evaluate your tactic.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

PULL THE STRINGS!!!

You may have heard me mention the new Wil Wright game coming out titled Spore. I have wrote about it here on my blog and if you know me in real life, well then I know you have heard of it. Two days ago, they released as a free preview, the Creature Creator part of the game.

I am hooked.

Anna and I both have created more creatures than I really want to admit, but I thought I would give you a sampling as to what is possible. These are my Greek mythology creatures.









The fact that I can make each of these in just a few minutes on a home computer, complete with animation, is nothing short of astounding.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Hack & Slash Cooking

I am stealing this from Wired.

Cookbooks are a lot like Dungeons & Dragons and other role-playing games. They contain seemingly rigid rules that, in practice, require a certain amount of adaptation for your own tastes.

So how come cooking gets its own TV channel and role-playing games don't even get a show on G4? Maybe the population at large doesn't want to pretend to be a half-elf. Maybe RPGs take more imagination than most people have.

However, it just might have something to do with the role-playing community. If geeks talked about cookbooks the way they talk about RPG books, the results would not be pretty:

Posted: 12:15 a.m. by LordOrcus: I'm so mad that there's a new edition of The Better Joy Cookbook out. Thanks for making my old copy obsolete, you greedy hacks! For five years now, my friends have been coming over for my eggplant Parmesan, and now I'm never going to be able serve it again unless I shell out 35 bucks for the latest version.

Posted: 12:42 a.m. by Kathraxis: Hey, I have a question! When you preheat the oven, can you start it before you measure out the ingredients, or do you have to do it afterward? Please answer quickly, my friends and I have been arguing about it for four hours and we're getting pretty hungry.

Posted: 12:48 a.m. by Goku1440: I found an awesome loophole! On page 242 it says "Add oregano to taste!" It doesn't say how much oregano, or what sort of taste! You can add as much oregano as you want! I'm going to make my friends eat infinite oregano and they'll have to do it because the recipe says so!

Posted: 1:02 a.m. by barrybarrybarry: I can't believe I spent 35 dollars on a cookbook that doesn't have a recipe for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When I buy a cookbook, I expect it to tell me how to cook. And don't tell me to just make a PBJ myself, I'm not some sort of hippy artist pretentious "freeform cook."

Posted: 1:08 a.m. by jvmkanelly: Where are the recipes for chatting with friends while cooking? Where are the recipes for conversation over the meal? When I throw a dinner party, I want it to be a PARTY. I guess the idiots who use the Better Joy Cookbook just cook and eat in stony silence, never saying a word or even looking each other in the eye.

Posted: 1:23 a.m. by LordOrcus: Hey, guess what? They're coming out with The Better Joy Book of Hors D'oeuvres. It just goes to show that the publishers are a bunch of corporate greedheads who care more about money than they do about cooking. Is it too much to ask for a single cookbook that contains all possible recipes?

Posted: 1:48 a.m. by specsheet: Hey, everyone. I can tell just by reading the recipe that if you prepare eggs benedict as written, the sauce will separate. My mom always said the other kids made fun of me because they were jealous of my intelligence, so I must be right. Everyone who's saying that they followed the recipe and it came out perfect is either lying, or loves greasy separated hollandaise sauce.

Posted: 1:52 a.m. by IAmEd: As I have pointed out MANY TIMES, several of these recipes contain raisins, and I, like most people, am ALLERGIC to raisins! And before you tell me to substitute dried cranberries, I will reiterate that I am discussing the recipes AS WRITTEN. I do not appreciate your ATTACKING ME with helpful suggestions!

Posted: 2:12 a.m. by Herodotus: I just have to laugh at the recipe for Beef Wellington. In Wellington's day, ovens didn't have temperature settings! And pate de foie gras certainly didn't come in cans. It's like the authors didn't even care about replicating authentic early 19th century cooking techniques!

Posted: 2:17 a.m. by LordOrcus: I have read the new Better Joy Cookbook and I am devastated to my very core. Their macaroni and cheese recipe, the very macaroni and cheese I've been making since I was in college, has been ravaged and disfigured and left bleeding on the page. Where once it contained only cheddar cheese, now the recipe calls for a mix of cheddar and Colby. It may contain macaroni, and it may contain cheese, but it is not macaroni and cheese. This is a slap in the face and a knife in the gut. You have lost me, Better Joy Cookbook. I would bid you goodbye, but I wish you nothing but the pain and rage you have delivered unto me

Sunday, June 1, 2008

What a weekend!

While busy, this weekend has been a blast.

Riley and Sophie got to play with the kittens down by Mr. Hughes' house.


We spent all day Saturday working in the yard clearing weeds and brush. We filled two Lenny(s) and still had brush lying around.


Sunday morning we had breakfast with Granny.


After breakfast we headed to Pa's for a little horseback riding. But first you have to saddle your horse.



Then you to achieve that riding look.


Of course Sophie is going to get mad if she is left out.


And off they go.




And Sophie needed another turn.


And what kind of boys would they have been if they hadn't disappeared only to be found playing in the creek.




Sophie heard the call of the creek as well.


To my amazement, nobody had ever taught them how to catch crawdads. So I had to oblige.