2008 Crystal Ball

Many years ago my good friend Miss Dottie dubbed me Nostradumbass for my uncanny ability to make predictions such as, “So and So will make an idiot of themselves tonight over some guy,” or “That moron is going to puke all over the rug.” So I thought it would be fun for me to adopt my Nostradumbass persona since 2007 is drawing to a close and make some predictions for 2008. Sure I will be wrong on most, if not all, of these predictions but what the hell, I am Nostradumbass.

1. John Edwards will win the Iowa Caucuses BUT whoever takes second place will win the nomination. If it is Clinton, then nomination will be over before the end of February and she will pick Bill Richardson as her VP. If it is Obama, the nomination will be a hard fought battle but he will get the nomination. Obama will also choose Richardson as his VP. The Republican side is a little murkier but if Romney is able to squeak first place then I think we will be in for a showdown between Romney and McCain all the way until the Republican convention. If Huckabee gets first place then I think we will see McCain rise quite dramatically and have the nomination sewn up before the convention. McCain will then choose Huckabee as his running mate. I believe in January we will be saying President Obama.

2. There is going to be a semi-credible third party candidate in the Presidential general election and they will be included in the debates. This candidate will win some (not many but some) electoral votes.

3. Gas will hit $4.00 a gallon by Labor Day weekend and we will see oil prices reach $150 to $200 a barrel for a brief period of time.

4. Sometime in the next 12 months we will see a major breakthrough towards a viable form of alternative energy. It will be years before this technology will see practical results but 2008 will be the year that the discovery will be made.

5. We will see a major solar flare that disrupts electronic communications on scale previously unimaginable.

6. We will see a “surge” of troops into Afghanistan. The public reason stated will be because of crackdown on Al-Qaeda but the large presence of the Air Force will demonstrate that the true reason is because of increased instability in Pakistan and the very real risk that their nuclear weapons could fall into the hands of radicals.

7. A major international incident will erupt as Chinese fingerprints are found all over a breach in the defense system of another government. A cyber cold war will break out with the pawns being ex-Soviet states who will find their systems have become the testing ground for newly created cyber-weapons.

8. Facebook will be hit hard by malware that will be distributed within their new widgets. We will see the first malware that is designed for video game consoles that are connected to the environment. We will also learn what Storm Trojan is and people will be shocked to learn that the 50 million computers already infected is just the tip of the iceberg.

9. The mortgage crisis will continue and make the S&L crisis of the ‘80s look minor in comparison, HOWEVER, because foreclosures will be especially bad in Ohio and Florida (both swing states in an election year), Congress will give a major bailout to homeowners.

10. My last prediction was going to be the possibility of Israel attacking Iran unilaterally because of uranium enrichment, but I am going to end on a happier note and predict that my beloved Kentucky Wildcats will finish the season much better than people anticipate, with us in the Championship Game for the SEC Conference.

Check back in a year and we will see how well I channel Nostradamus versus just being a dumbass.