Work Sucks. Rock Out.

This Guy Is My Hero.

Yo! Ho! Yo! Ho! A Pirates Life for Me!

Just sit right back & you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful gyp
That started with a dumb idea based on the fear of rip
The companies were mighty greedy, the consumers naïve and poor
So the industry set in motion that day, so music would play for sure
So music would play for sure

The computers started crashing, the iPods all were tossed
If not for the resourcefulness of faithful hackers
The consumers would have lost
The consumers would have lost

Now the music’s run a-ground because the companies were so vile
With Microsoft,
The Sony, too
The RIAA and their lawyers
The music stars
The Apple and admen

Here ‘cause of Company’s Guile!

It would hilarious if it also weren’t so damn infuriating. I am not sure how many of you have heard the news (or care for that matter) but Microsoft has decided to finally kill their “Play for Sure” system of digital rights management or DRM for short. In order for you to understand how ridiculous the entire musical industry has become, allow me to give you a brief history lesson.

In the beginning, Apple created the iPod and it was good. However, the iPod was tied to iTunes, which in turn also sold music through the iTunes Music Store. This was very convenient for people that owned iPods. There was much rejoicing. But the iPod was not the only music player on the market and there was no standard DRM that would work for every music player. So, Microsoft strolls onto the stage and announces “Plays For Sure”, which would be a new DRM scheme that would work for every music player (except the iPod, but the industry already thought Apple had gotten too uppity anyway). There was much rejoicing.

So the corporations like Sony, San Disk, etc., all started dutifully manufacturing music players that would work with Plays For Sure. Music companies started selling their music using the Plays For Sure DRM scheme. All was going according to plan until Microsoft decided that they wanted to get into the music player business. So they bring out the Zune. Now you would assume that Microsoft would make the Zune play music that utilizes Plays For Sure. The problem is your assumption would be wrong.

Nope, Microsoft doesn’t include support for their own Plays For Sure on their music player. You may be asking yourself, “Why wouldn’t they want Plays For Sure to work on the Zune?” Well the answer is, Plays For Sure sucked. It crashed peoples computers, customers had a difficult time authorizing new equipment to play songs that had previously purchased, etc. So, they dropped support for Plays For Sure on the Zune.

How Plays For Sure would work is that when you purchased a song online, that song would be tagged with an authenticating code and that code would be tied to your account. So, when you bought a new computer or a new music player, you would transfer your music to that device and that device would connect to the mothership and say, yup, John Doe owns that song, so play the music.

Skip ahead a few years to last week, Microsoft has announced that the servers that run the Plays For Sure authenticating thing-a-majig are going to be taken offline after August 31, 2008. So if you bought and legally paid for music that incorporates Plays For Sure, it will not work on any new device after August 31, 2008. Sure, you will be able to listen to your music on your old machine, but you will never ever be able to transfer it. Hope you really like that computer, because if you have Plays For Sure music on it, Microsoft says you are going to have to hold on to it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! Hahahahahahah!!!!

End of lesson.

What I find so hilarious is the fact the music industry has forced this DRM crap down our throats because of their fear of pirates. The theory is that if customers have digital music files without DRM, they MIGHT lose money if someone MIGHT give that file to someone that MIGHT have otherwise paid for it. They claim that this would be theft and I guess technically they would be right. So DRM is necessary to fight those damn pirates. The music industry would have lost money if all three “MIGHT” conditions came true.

The crazy part is that they don’t view it as theft by depriving the poor consumer that paid good money for a song if they MIGHT want to by a new computer or music player at any point before they die. I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that the probability that a person might buy a new computer or mp3 player after August 31, seems a little more likely than probability of all three conditions in the preceding paragraph coming true.

In fact, I would go so far as saying that by turning those servers off, they are committing… PIRACY. Theft is defined as the “wrongful taking of property with intent to permanently deprive the owner of possession” and piracy is defined as “an act resembling theft”. Sounds to me like that is exactly what they are doing.

The whole anti-piracy measures that are becoming more and more prevalent are just getting out of hand. They don’t work, they make it harder for people to be honest and they cost the industry money. It is just stupid. It is easier and safer for a consumer to just steal their music. If you stole it, you know it is going to work. I am not advocating the illegal downloading of music (I don’t do it) but the industry has created a gigantic mess of a situation. Shamus Young has written a wonderful post on the insanity of DRM schemes when it comes to video games. He is a wonderful writer and highly recommend you read his thoughts.

By the Power of Rationalization!

In the comment section of my last post on the Ecology of the Nocturnus Clintonius, Steph while not directly accusing me of being sexist, implied that the posting of the unflattering picture of Clinton might be an act of sexism. I am very aware that writing a blog post on the topic means I “doth protest too much”; but, I also don’t want to dismiss it out of hand.

The fact that I am a father of a daughter that also happens to be a super-toddler possessing unparalleled levels of intelligence, beauty, wisdom, courage, grace, strength, generosity and leadership, makes me particularly interested in the presence of sexism in the world. Almost without fail, if someone begins a statement with “I am not a sexist, but…” or “I am not a racist, but…”, you can comfortably assume that whatever characteristic they are denying, they most certainly possess. Whatever –ist you are denying is probably present, but deep seeded and you have deluded yourself that you don’t have it. Which in many ways, is worse than if you wore it proudly on your sleeve.

The picture in question I saw on the dailykos a few days earlier and when I was writing the stat sheet for the undead Clinton, it popped into my mind. My conscious mind simply thought it was the best picture to represent Clinton as some form of undead creature. I didn’t (again in my conscious mind) post it simply because it showed her in an unflattering light but because it fit the post I was writing.

Now the bigger question is, “why did I think it best demonstrated her as an undead creature?” Is it because I subconsciously equate un-beauty with evil in women? Maybe. But, I have forwarded many a picture of George Bush’s facial expressions as compared to a monkey.

The thing is, I also believe that being overly cautious not to offend is a form of sexism. By constantly monitoring your comments, you are keeping in mind issues that should in theory not be present. By not posting an unflattering picture of a woman, that you would not hesitate to post if it was a man, you are being sexist.

I don’t know. I haven’t done any good in explaining myself; however, I really don’t think I had malicious intentions (other than the normal malicious intentions towards Clinton that have nothing to do with her being a woman). So I don’t think I am going to remove the picture. Yeah, it could just be me rationalizing; but, I have always said that rationalization is humanity’s greatest skill.

The Ecology of the Nocturnus Clintonius

Well I think we can conclude beyond any shadow of a doubt that Sen. Hillary Clinton is a member of the undead. While on the surface this unholy abomination may seem unbeatable, do not despair. VanCornett is here to provide you with the ecology of the Nocturnus Clintonius.

(yeah, yeah, I know that 3.5 is better but I am old school and know 2nd edition better, so that is what you are getting)

Nocturnus Clintonius

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any/Primary Battleground
FREQUENCY: Very Rare
ORGANIZATION: Solitary
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Nil
INTELLIGENCE: Intelligent
TREASURE: A
ALIGNMENT: Neutral Evil
NO. APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: 25
MOVEMENT: 12
HIT DICE: 15+
THAC0: 16 base
NO. OF ATTACKS: 3
DAMAGE/ATTACK: By weapon
SPECIAL ATTACKS: See Below
SPECIAL DEFENSES: +1 weapon to hit
MAGIC RESISTANCE: 1% per hit die
SIZE: M
MORALE: Fanatic (17-18)
XP VALUE: 10,000 +1,000 per level


Unlike most undead creatures, the Nocturnus Clintonius retains all of the memories, personality, and abilities that it possessed in life — but it has the benefit of its unholy existence to hone its skills and inevitably becomes very powerful. Like other powerful forms of the undead, the Nocturnus Clintonius has many un-natural powers, including the ability to summon minions willing to go forth and smear the reputations of honest individuals. In addition, the Nocturnus Clintonius has the ability to create a reality distortion field by its voice, which said field has the ability to sap the hope and optomisim of mortals. The Nocturnus Clintonius has the ability to control the actions of all media pundits when said creatures are discussing political goals of the Nocturnus Clintonius.

The Nocturnus Clintonius can only be hit by +2 or better magical weapons. In addition to its natural magic resistance, the Nocturnus Clintonius is immune to all mind affecting spells, death spells, and wizard and clerical spells below 3rd level. Because of its unique connection with the Dirty Political Tricks plane, all negative attacks inflict 5d10 points of damage to the creature attacking if it gets past the Nocturnus Clintonius’ magic resistance. It also casts spells as it did before its transformation, but, due to its dark nature and years of political mudslinging, does not require to use actual truth in its attacks. The Nocturnus Clintonius is considered a special for purposes of turning.

The best method of attacking the Nocturnus Clintonius is to maintain hope and determination while facing the creature. Heroes pure of heart and wielding the truth will fair far better than individuals that resort to personal attacks (due to the Nocturnus Clintonius’s connection with the Dirty Political Tricks plane). If 6d100 mortals following a leader possessing the non-weapon proficiency of “Hope Monger” face the Nocturnus Clintonius, they can overcome its natural magical resistance on a +8 Will Save.

In conclusion, the Nocturnus Clintonius is far more dangerous and scary when you despair and give up hope. Its Armor Class is very weak once you get through its natural defenses. Winning only the two states of Indiana and North Carolina should finally drive a stake through the heart of this unholy amalgamation of the human body and energy from the Dirty Political Tricks plane.

Don’t let the Nocturnus Clintonius boil the hope out of you.

WIng and a Prayer

Here is hoping that the Democratic primary finally comes to a conclusion tonight.

Go Obama! I hope you pull off an upset tonight.

Hey Neilson!

Last night, Riley's cousin Paul spent the night so we could all play D&D. This morning they decided to make a television show. The result is what happens when you combine computers, the ability to self-produce and young boys. It is no Battlestar Galactica but it has its moments.

If the video stutters, I recommend hitting the pause button and letting it pre-load before trying to watch it.

Oh yeah. I didn't know what they titled the show until after they were done. By then it was too late and how exactly do you explain that to a 10 year old.

Enjoy.

Quack, Quack, Quack.

Stephanie has written an interesting post about the word “hippie” and asks people what the word means to them. I began writing a comment but it started to run long, so you are getting a post from me on the topic.

The ubiquitous Merriam-Webster defines “hippie” as “a usually young person who rejects the mores of established society (as by dressing unconventionally or favoring communal living) and advocates a nonviolent ethic; broadly : a long-haired unconventionally dressed young person.”

This definition is not bad, but I find it lacking. The problem I have is that the word has evolved quite substantially since the last time ‘ol Merriam-Webster have updated their definition. Using their more broad definition you could include members of the Goth community in the definition of hippie. Hell for that matter you could include Ted Nugent, as his hair is long and skin tight leather pants are just as unconventional as patched corduroy pants.

A hippie isn’t just anyone that “rejects the mores of established society” as we live in a civilization today that is full of many different groups that have rejected “the mores of established society.” A more practical look at the word reveals that hippie has become a lifestyle choice. Just as Goth is a lifestyle choice that encompasses dress, music, literature and slang, it seem to me that Hippie is basically the same thing but with different dress, slang, music, etc. These people may hold down good jobs, raise children, pay their taxes and own a home.

This actually presents a strange situation where you can have an individual that embraces the hippie lifestyle but rejects the more ideological principals usually associated with the word. I personally know individuals that describe themselves as a hippie, would be described as a hippie by most people they meet on the street, listens to hippie music, dresses in hippie clothes, uses hippie slang, BUT votes Republican, supported the war in Iraq and joined the military. So the question is, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, is it really a duck? As much as I hate to admit it, I think it is a duck. Its just that the definition of duck as changed.

The other thing you must consider when looking at the word hippie is that the word has also had a parallel but divergent evolution of its definition. More right wing, conservative, war hawks, have also taken a hold of the word and used it for their purposes. I think the best way to illustrate how they have changed the meaning of the word is by looking at a similar evolution.

The word “yuppie” was originally coined in 1982 and means “young urban professional”, as it gained in popularity it became “young upwardly-mobile professional”. Now I know that many people reading this blog fit that description, so by a show of hands, how many of you want to be described as a yuppie? That’s what I thought. The reason is because the punk movement (also a lifestyle choice with its own music, dress, etc.) incorporated the term to start describing the peers they were rebelling against. Pretty quickly the term evolved from describing a growing segment of the economy to a derisive term describing over-materialistic S.O.B.s. The word hippie has undergone a similar evolution among conservatives. To them a hippie is a smelly, dirty, lazy, no-good, unemployed drifter, with no actual principals but believes in pie-in-the-sky ideas that only work in fairy-land.

A third issue that you have to consider when thinking about hippie is the more broad categorization of liberal-minded, peace oriented, environmental conscious individuals that subscribe to the ideological principals of the original definition of the word, but don’t eschew society’s norms in clothing, hair style, etc. Many of these people may hate music like Phish, Donna the Buffalo, etc. Never have smoked pot in their life. Keep their hair short if men, if women style it like “square-headed, 80's helmet-hair channelling wanna-be teevee news anchor”. Yet believe in the principals of hippies, be described as hippies by others and may even identify themselves as hippies.

So you have three very different definitions, each having almost nothing in common with the others, yet each being defined as a hippie. There have been times in my life where I would have fit each of the above descriptions.

What do you think?

Weapon of Mash-Destruction.

Well it is 6:00 in the morning and I hear Sophie crying in her room. Obviously, you can’t just leave a crying toddler in their room at 6:00 a.m., even though any reasonable adult would try and get another hour of sleep but to a toddler it is a perfectly reasonable hour to get up and start the day. My darling bride rolls over and justifiably asks if I would get up with her.

Of course I will.

The damn allergies have my sinuses totally blocked and my eyes are glued shut as I stumble out of bed. Sophie’s crying has reached that point where you know she has fully awakened but not quite reached the panic level. I only partially trip over the dog as I round the bed and head for the hallway when,

WHAM!!

I walk face first into the closed bedroom door, slamming both my forehead and nose into the solid hardwood. Collapsing back onto the bed with my hands over my now crushed face, I hear that Sophie has stopped crying. This is a totally sensible response when you hear at 6:00 in the morning what sounds like a bull jumping into a brick wall from a full run. This silence lasts about five seconds and is replaced by the sound of “Da-Dee. Da-Dee. Da-Dee.” I don’t know if it is the same for everyone, but for me, it is easier to ignore gut wrenching screams than it is to ignore the sweet appeals from my daughter for her daddy.

At this point Anna is worried that I broke my nose (I hit the door really hard) and is struggling to get out of bed herself. I manage to re-mold my face back together, open the damn door and pick Sophie up from her crib. Anna is now awake, so I drop Sophie off on the couch and head to the bathroom. I successfully unplug the snot from my nostrils only to unleash the blood that had pooled behind this make-shift dam of mucus. Much toilet paper later, I am left with just a large purple bump on my forehead that looks like I am trying to grow a unicorn horn and throbbing headache.

The crazy thing is and the whole point to this blog post, I had a pretty good morning. Really. I think it goes to show that the circumstances that make up the details of our life are not near as important as our mental outlook. I don’t really know why I was in a good mood. Must have just woken up on the right side of the bed, even when I walked on the wrong side of the door.

It has just dawned on me that I a.m. a morning person

Its Official!

Well it is official. According to the Asthma and Allergy Foundation, Lexington is the worst city in America for seasonal allergies. Take that Louisville with your pathetic showing of 21st.

If you are interested in seeing if your city shows up in the Top 100, here is the link.

Riley & Sophie

BSG in 8 Minutes

Need a recap of BSG before tonight. Here you go. The entire series in 8 minutes.

I knew it!!

I have been tell 'ya for a while that Clovis wasn't the earliest and that Tom Dillehay was right.

Time to Re-Write the Anthropology Books.

The iSight camera is too much fun.

Ka is a Wheel

On March 25, 2007 the concluding episode of Season 3 of Battlestar Galactica aired. After it was over, we were informed that new episodes would not be back until 2008. It has been one hell of a long year, but our wait is finally over and the first episode of the fourth and final season of the best show on television will air tomorrow. I have purposely stayed away from any and all spoilers because I didn’t want to spoil my Season 4 virginity.

Soooo, I am going to propose my theory on how the show is going to end. Obviously since I haven’t read any spoilers, I can’t write about any here; but, be forewarned that I am going to talk about my own theory.

A running mantra through the entire series has been “All this has happened before, and it will happen again.” It reminds me of the conclusion to Stephen’s King’s The Dark Tower, hence the title to this post. With the conclusion of Season 3, we discover the identities of four of the final five Cylons. The important part of this for our discussion here is HOW they discover they are Cylons. Yes the show has incorporated much of the inconography of both Greek mythology and the Mormon church but having the these characters discover they are Cylons because they start hearing Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower.” Is more than just creative license. It is a clue.

The speed of light is 299,792,458 meters per second and it is my belief that the song they were hearing was a broadcast from Earth. Our Earth. Maybe not 2008 Earth, but our Earth at some point after 1967. Alright, I have beat around the bush enough. I am thinking that the Galactica will make it to Earth. Earth will be populated with humans but for some reason most of the planet’s population will be destroyed after Galactica arrives. Maybe by Galactica, maybe by the Cylons, maybe by Earth’s own devices. The point is that most of the planet’s population is wiped out and Earth become uninhabitable. At which point the surviving population will flee the planet on 12 starships. These 12 starships will establish 12 colonies on 12 different planets and as time goes by they will forget their true origins. However, legends will remain of a lost 13th colony called Earth.

All of this has happened before, and it will happen again.

Or they get to Earth at the same time as the Cylons and are promptly swallowed by a dog.

We're Moving!

I guess this is as good a time as any to announce to the world. Anna and I have been presented with a unique opportunity that we have been debating now for several months.

The Principality of Sealand has been looking for individuals willing to give up their citizenship and become full citizens of the Principality of Sealand. It is necessary that the Principality achieve a certain number of citizens in order to be admitted to the United Nations. Prince Bates has approved our application and invited us to become full citizens.

Basically what this means is that we are going to move to a tiny country off the coast of England. Here is the location on Google Maps.



While this was a difficult decision, we believe it will be best for raising Sophie. We are going to miss many things about living in the United State (probably not the election) but are looking forward to future adventures. There are not many flights in and out of Sealand, so our opportunities to return back to the states will be limited; but, there is high-speed internet so we won’t be completely out of touch.
For those of you that are interested. Here is the link official webpage of the Principality of Sealand.