Yo! Ho! Yo! Ho! A Pirates Life for Me!

Just sit right back & you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful gyp
That started with a dumb idea based on the fear of rip
The companies were mighty greedy, the consumers naïve and poor
So the industry set in motion that day, so music would play for sure
So music would play for sure

The computers started crashing, the iPods all were tossed
If not for the resourcefulness of faithful hackers
The consumers would have lost
The consumers would have lost

Now the music’s run a-ground because the companies were so vile
With Microsoft,
The Sony, too
The RIAA and their lawyers
The music stars
The Apple and admen

Here ‘cause of Company’s Guile!

It would hilarious if it also weren’t so damn infuriating. I am not sure how many of you have heard the news (or care for that matter) but Microsoft has decided to finally kill their “Play for Sure” system of digital rights management or DRM for short. In order for you to understand how ridiculous the entire musical industry has become, allow me to give you a brief history lesson.

In the beginning, Apple created the iPod and it was good. However, the iPod was tied to iTunes, which in turn also sold music through the iTunes Music Store. This was very convenient for people that owned iPods. There was much rejoicing. But the iPod was not the only music player on the market and there was no standard DRM that would work for every music player. So, Microsoft strolls onto the stage and announces “Plays For Sure”, which would be a new DRM scheme that would work for every music player (except the iPod, but the industry already thought Apple had gotten too uppity anyway). There was much rejoicing.

So the corporations like Sony, San Disk, etc., all started dutifully manufacturing music players that would work with Plays For Sure. Music companies started selling their music using the Plays For Sure DRM scheme. All was going according to plan until Microsoft decided that they wanted to get into the music player business. So they bring out the Zune. Now you would assume that Microsoft would make the Zune play music that utilizes Plays For Sure. The problem is your assumption would be wrong.

Nope, Microsoft doesn’t include support for their own Plays For Sure on their music player. You may be asking yourself, “Why wouldn’t they want Plays For Sure to work on the Zune?” Well the answer is, Plays For Sure sucked. It crashed peoples computers, customers had a difficult time authorizing new equipment to play songs that had previously purchased, etc. So, they dropped support for Plays For Sure on the Zune.

How Plays For Sure would work is that when you purchased a song online, that song would be tagged with an authenticating code and that code would be tied to your account. So, when you bought a new computer or a new music player, you would transfer your music to that device and that device would connect to the mothership and say, yup, John Doe owns that song, so play the music.

Skip ahead a few years to last week, Microsoft has announced that the servers that run the Plays For Sure authenticating thing-a-majig are going to be taken offline after August 31, 2008. So if you bought and legally paid for music that incorporates Plays For Sure, it will not work on any new device after August 31, 2008. Sure, you will be able to listen to your music on your old machine, but you will never ever be able to transfer it. Hope you really like that computer, because if you have Plays For Sure music on it, Microsoft says you are going to have to hold on to it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! Hahahahahahah!!!!

End of lesson.

What I find so hilarious is the fact the music industry has forced this DRM crap down our throats because of their fear of pirates. The theory is that if customers have digital music files without DRM, they MIGHT lose money if someone MIGHT give that file to someone that MIGHT have otherwise paid for it. They claim that this would be theft and I guess technically they would be right. So DRM is necessary to fight those damn pirates. The music industry would have lost money if all three “MIGHT” conditions came true.

The crazy part is that they don’t view it as theft by depriving the poor consumer that paid good money for a song if they MIGHT want to by a new computer or music player at any point before they die. I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that the probability that a person might buy a new computer or mp3 player after August 31, seems a little more likely than probability of all three conditions in the preceding paragraph coming true.

In fact, I would go so far as saying that by turning those servers off, they are committing… PIRACY. Theft is defined as the “wrongful taking of property with intent to permanently deprive the owner of possession” and piracy is defined as “an act resembling theft”. Sounds to me like that is exactly what they are doing.

The whole anti-piracy measures that are becoming more and more prevalent are just getting out of hand. They don’t work, they make it harder for people to be honest and they cost the industry money. It is just stupid. It is easier and safer for a consumer to just steal their music. If you stole it, you know it is going to work. I am not advocating the illegal downloading of music (I don’t do it) but the industry has created a gigantic mess of a situation. Shamus Young has written a wonderful post on the insanity of DRM schemes when it comes to video games. He is a wonderful writer and highly recommend you read his thoughts.