tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18633356026544328002024-03-12T19:52:18.140-07:00A Strangeite View of the WorldUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger147125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-76228096771716956762022-08-11T22:35:00.000-07:002022-08-11T22:35:20.808-07:00American Fried Baltic Menu<p> For reasons best not get into, particularly because I would rather not discuss them at border crossings, my wife and I have contemplated what kind of restaurant we would run in a beach community on the Adriatic Sea in a former Soviet bloc state.</p><p>I can't speak for her, but I do have a few things I would want to serve.</p><p>Breakfast:</p><p>The ability to quickly run in and grab a cup of strong coffee and a breakfast sandwich. Said sandwich would consist of salted meat, with melted cheese between two pieces of leavened bread. It would be wrapped up to be eaten later, and the more deserening clients would choose one with egg. Of course, it would taste better sooner rather than later. Particularly the ones with an egg. </p><p>Lunch:</p><p>There would be no lunch. We don't serve it. It interferes with breakfast service, naps, and getting ready for dinner. </p><p>Dinner:</p><p>People would be able to sit down and shake off their day. It ain't got to be fancy, but I would want people to settle into their chair and whatever was stressing them before, isn't forgotten, but put onto the back burner. The menu would need to be varied but tight. </p><p>My additions would be: </p><p>A marinated flattened piece of poultry doubled fried on a bed of mashed potatoes with a tomato gravy drizzled on top. </p><p>A chili cheese coney so over the top that anyone from Cincinnati would consider it sacrilege. It would use the sausages of Europe and bread that might be able to hold it, but cinnamon-spiked chili drizzled over it with raw onions and a handful of shredded cheese. </p><p>Dessert:</p><p>A white russian. There are other desserts, but goddamn vodka, kahlua, and half-and-half might be the most perfect after-dinner accompaniment. </p><p>I never knew what I would be when I grew up, but I think my wife and I would make decent restaurateurs.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-66420968846658511092022-07-14T20:16:00.003-07:002022-07-14T20:16:38.327-07:00Brisket<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeO68Yh0PyTjkOFyZMtQuXQkKxNwLJ6sVZa2yFa-Km9W87t3ojpwYUlqmAjoZRliWvlzbQ33JDvpucEmG9_pVLXJtvpRTAN0dFPhEuOpKHfvNK6aDA8iMgnmMVojtqIZeWltGBZRhaMmMJvvRifp0FXLqJQJocYBjSzHhJpzTSzD-LP_WDsPN2OxYiqg/s770/__opt__aboutcom__coeus__resources__content_migration__serious_eats__seriouseats.com__images__2016__07__20160801-sous-vide-brisket-guide-155F-36hrs-small-d54b342538ff4509abd1cb60c35a2b18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="578" data-original-width="770" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeO68Yh0PyTjkOFyZMtQuXQkKxNwLJ6sVZa2yFa-Km9W87t3ojpwYUlqmAjoZRliWvlzbQ33JDvpucEmG9_pVLXJtvpRTAN0dFPhEuOpKHfvNK6aDA8iMgnmMVojtqIZeWltGBZRhaMmMJvvRifp0FXLqJQJocYBjSzHhJpzTSzD-LP_WDsPN2OxYiqg/s320/__opt__aboutcom__coeus__resources__content_migration__serious_eats__seriouseats.com__images__2016__07__20160801-sous-vide-brisket-guide-155F-36hrs-small-d54b342538ff4509abd1cb60c35a2b18.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>It is the most pure Platonic Form of them all. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-7832713891262255072022-07-12T20:51:00.000-07:002022-07-12T20:51:53.387-07:00Used Cars Fanfiction<p> </p><p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The Capital</b></span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Rudy learns that the freeway interchange is being delayed because “historically important” artifacts MIGHT have been identified on the site, so an anthropological survey has to be completed before construction can commence. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 0px 72px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 0px 72px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">“Senator Russo, I’m so sorry for disturbing you, but the Consolidated Refuse Depositors lobbyist, the rep from Amalgamated Ice Producers, and Mrs. Warren are still waiting.”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Did Mrs. Warren bring a pile of books again?”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“No sir, she brought a chalkboard.”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Rudy has his secretary delay the people waiting <music plays> and then he slips out the window, down the gutter of the capital, through the bushes, and into his car. He is speeding out of the parking lot. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>New Deal Used Cars</b></span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The sales team reacts to the information that the interchange is being delayed. Rudy had spent the last of the mortgage money on the giant pole hoisting an American Flag the size of a basketball court. Jim has gotten the “mile of cars” operational but nobody is on the lot, mainly because of the construction. Jeff comments that their insurance policy on the “shit pile of cars” isn’t going to do any good if construction isn’t throwing debris across the road to crack windshields. <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Jeff, get Freddie and Eddie on the phone.”<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Roy L. Fuch’s Lot</b></span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The sales team is standing around a hole, dressed in dark clothing, along with a new person whose casually resting on a wooden crate and black case at his feet. The area around them is bare earth and the remains of the former car dealership. The hole in which they are all focused is about 2 feet deep. Inside is a sandstone slab. You can’t see the edges because they are hidden by the bare earth exposed by the construction workers. Upon the stone’s surface are etchings and drawings, all written and drawn in arcs that spiral towards the center of the hole. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Jesus.”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Looks like a bunch of scratches.”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Is that scratch doing what I think to that other scratch?”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Jesus Christ.”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“I don’t think they knew who Jesus was.”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The sales team sets charges and retreats to a safe distance. KA-BOOM. Falling debris and windshields cracking. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>New Deal Used Cars</b></span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">The next morning the New Deal lot is empty but across the road, nerds are scouring the entirety of the area. Multiple vans with Arizona State University logos are parked in a neat row. Completely incompetent young people are attempting to install a fence. The sales team bicker amongst themselves because the explosion didn’t seem to have the desired result.</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">-BZzzZZxTtTT- -BZzzZZxTtTT- </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Rudy grabs for his hip and looks at his beeper. Makes a quick call and says he has to go across the road. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Roy L. Fuch’s Lot</b></span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">Rudy crosses the highway and an awkward early-80s college student attempts to stand in his way. Without ever breaking his stride, Rudy focuses his seduction force upon this poor student, who falls to the side. He approaches the crude base of operation, and Rudy strolls right into it. He is quickly shut down and put into his place. But, when the anthropologist realizes he is a State Senator, their demeanor changes and shows him why the location is important. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>In addition to the numerous pre-Clovis artifacts unearthed, is the pit descending into the earth whose bottom you can’t see because the mist is swirling in the way. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“This shouldn’t be here. It is a Mesopotamian god of destruction.”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“This looks like the ground floor for investing in destruction to me.”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>New Deal Used Cars</b></span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The sales team is giving Rudy shit for not shutting down the archeological dig. He barely convinces them that the lot across the road needs to be left alone. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">-Wrrrchrrrchhhwrccch- flip -Wrrrchrrrchhhwrccch- flip</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Rudy grabs the fax and reads it in silence. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“The Arizona Legislative Sub-Committee on the Appreciation of Historical and Indigenous Importance is voting Monday morning to protect that lot from damage. This second page is Roy L. Fuch’s contract to construct the freeway interchange. He is allowed to start construction on Sunday, August 23rd.”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“What day is it?”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Construction Parking Lot</b></span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Roy L. Fuchs is moving between employees standing next to their construction equipment. He seems almost like a general before troops make an advance into enemy territory. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Bob! We have to make it to the lot. A bunch of pussies aren’t going to stop you again are they?”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Boss, we have 6 hours and it's 45 minutes away. We have bulldozers, excavators, and dump trucks. The bulldozer has a .45, the excavators have shotguns and the dump trucks have bazookas.”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Roy, you are on probation!”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>New Deal Used Cars</b></span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Jeff takes off as scout in his dune buggy that remarkably doesn’t have a bit of red on the entire vehicle. Jim is throwing toolboxes and chains into the back of the pickup. Rudy is fitting a brass knuckle when Barbara asks,</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Rudy, what is going on?”</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><br /><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>ACTION SCENE</b></span></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The sales team corrals the bad guys into a valley of strip malls because Rudy stops traffic and Jim quickly disables the vehicles in the intersection. Roy L Fuchs stayed at the back of the line and when the New Deal traffic jam happened, he was just able to veer around in his bulldozer and head straight towards the construction site. His bulldozer is pulling a trailer full of wooden crates with *Dynamite* on the side. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Fight with Rudy and Roy, the steering mechanism of the bulldozer is broken and the accelerator is jammed into full throttle. All seems lost. The bulldozer is on a direct path to the archeological site. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Except, there is one thing standing between Roy L Fuchs machine of destruction and the temple of unknown mythology. The American Flag. There is a squeal of metal as the bulldozer hits the pole, and while it bends, it holds and the bulldozer gives a cough of smoke and stops. </span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-kerning: none;">EPILOGUE</span><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></b></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Camels are walking around. Cheap plywood pyramids scatter the parking lot.</span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“This is as close as you can get to the mysterious ancient site! Take a test drive in one of our previously owned automobiles to get a ticket to climb a pyramid to see what the nerds are excavating!”</span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-41986696088353893392022-06-03T22:31:00.001-07:002022-06-03T22:31:08.121-07:00The present. <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg22EUdxOpyWeyWTivJD48iomD8ZAkpIBSwwaIWmNNkmWDn_IlQ8jWaHVy-EN0BfUCIdX8sfy4oemO9jgfA_hD7VbhTJA-XxxugHvAXeS4hxPqBMzIRblUL41befLaLyE8-4YkU5GJn74BJ3hNhl6j28VFkz7VHnNLJvJ0MFXQir4P1op3YmCkURgH-DQ/s4032/5CA7DE3E-C37F-400D-A6CD-A8CDD539C801.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg22EUdxOpyWeyWTivJD48iomD8ZAkpIBSwwaIWmNNkmWDn_IlQ8jWaHVy-EN0BfUCIdX8sfy4oemO9jgfA_hD7VbhTJA-XxxugHvAXeS4hxPqBMzIRblUL41befLaLyE8-4YkU5GJn74BJ3hNhl6j28VFkz7VHnNLJvJ0MFXQir4P1op3YmCkURgH-DQ/s320/5CA7DE3E-C37F-400D-A6CD-A8CDD539C801.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-5495944063109107602021-04-21T20:36:00.019-07:002021-04-21T21:54:54.844-07:00Trump Fucks McConnell (and Kentucky) Again<p>This isn't going to come as a shock, but Donald J. Trump has fucked Mitchell McConnell Jr. up the ass once again. Mitch has not enjoyed his previous copulations with Trump but they were profitable. Sure there was some clean up afterwards, but in the end Mitch was richer. That may happen again, but this time, the fucking was on a 6 month delay and McConnell's constituents will take it the hardest. </p><p>Leading up to McConnell's reelection, his crowing legislative achievement for the citizens of the Commonwealth of Kentucky was the Agricultural Improvement Act of 2018 (or the 2018 Farm Bill for normal people). He strolled across the state extolling the virtues of how Kentucky farmers will be able to reach their former glory. Remember how your Pa made a living raising tobacco? I'm bringing those days back again!</p><p>The Kentucky legislature fell in line and passed legislation to make sure KRS was in line for this big beautiful tomorrow. And immediately afterwards it seemed to work. There was a CBD boom. Every strip mall in the state seemed to have a CBD shop. When I went on vacation, it seemed every other state had a CBD shop. My mother-in-law started swearing that CBD was curing her bum knee. McConnell's vision of a replacement for tobacco seemed to be coming true and he had forced it through Congress. He not only owned it, he wanted credit and distribution rights. </p><p>Unfortunately, CBD ended up being less valuable than Dollar General olive oil. The fad had faded. </p><p>I don't know who did it, but somebody, figured out that the 2018 Farm Bill created a loop hole. Those commie heathen states allowed marijuana but if we switch this little amino acid, then all the products they are selling, we can sell and it ain't marijuana. It's an industrial hemp product. It isn't taxed like marijuana. So it is also profitable in those blue hell holes that allow the devil weed. In fact, two of the biggest distributers of Delta-8 (I will explain what that is in a minute) come from Kentucky. </p><p>The 2018 Farm Bill did what it promised. Farms were springing up. Processing plants were being built. And jobs were being added. </p><p>But what is Delta-8? Good question. </p><p>The Cannabis sativa L. produces a bunch of chemicals (quit your worrying and remember your high school chemistry class (almost) everything is a fucking chemical). Among those is Delta-9. Thousands (maybe hundreds, this is a blog) of years of cultivation bred plants to produce more and more Delta-9. Just like we turned a plant that looked like blade of grass that we hadn't cut into an ear of corn, civilization concentrated Delta-9 into Cannabis sativa L. </p><p>Because it got people high. There are many things civilization has spent an enormous amount of energy on in order to get high. European colonization of the Americas for tobacco and sugar. The insane effort that goes into vineyards. The Sackler Family. The point is that humans will figure out how to get a buzz on if the opportunity is there. </p><p>So Delta-8. That 2018 Farm Bill narrowed the definition of what is hemp and what is marijuana so that good Kentuckian farmers could grow this industrious product. Problem is, there is a bunch of Delta-9 in industrial hemp, but Delta-9 is what people spent thousands of years developing because it got them high. What to do?</p><p>The solution was to say that you can grow Cannabis sativa L. for whatever purpose your entrepreneur mind can come up with as long as the plants and whatever product you make, contain less than 3 tenths of one percent of Delta-9. If it contains more than that, it is the Devil's Weed. </p><p>What McConnell didn't consider is that the people he represent are smart and entrepreneur and human, which means it didn't take long for people to realize that Delta-8 also got you high. There just wasn't a lot of it in the plant. It took humans thousands of years of breeding to get high concentrations of Delta-9. But humans now have something that McConnell tends to ignore. Science. </p><p>What had took 1000s of years before, people had figured in about 9 months. Just this time they concentrated Delta-8. </p><p>And suddenly, those sad CBD shops in the strip malls all across America were able to pay their leases. In fact, they seemed to flourish. You could walk into a well lit store, with lots of glass and professional displays. A friendly associate would welcome you and ask what you were looking for. Oh, this product here will help you sleep, but this one here is better for focus, however this one is great for easing pain. Plus you could purchase the product with your credit card, in packaging that'd be recognizable at the checkout ailse of Walmart and they have a rewards program. </p><p>For Kentuckians it seemed the fucking started on April 19, 2021, but the foreplay started the previous August. On February 19th, the General Counsel for the KY Department of Agriculture mailed a letter to all of the farmers and processors of hemp in the Commonwealth of Kentucky that if they were growing or processing hemp to concentrate Delta-8 (the only profitable market) they should know that the federal government now considers it a Schedule 1 drug and therefore so does the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Furthermore, if you engage in such activity, you are jeopardizing your license to grow or process hemp. Just wanted you all to know. </p><p>What changed? </p><p>The DEA under the DOJ under Bill Barr in August of 2020 introduced <a href="https://www.deadiversion.usdoj.gov/fed_regs/rules/2020/fr0821.htm" target="_blank">this Interim Final Rule</a> which would reinterpret the DEA regulations on how it viewed the Agricultural Improvement Act of 2018 (figured we should give its official title here) that would make all Tetrahydrocannabinols that don't occur in natural concentrations in Cannabis sativa L (I should have come up with a shorthand for that plant by now) a Schedule 1 drug. Basically like heroin. </p><p>Or basically all the things that are allowing those CBD shops to pay their leases. </p><p>The comment period for this ended in October (I lost the link for this, sorry), and as of April 2, 2021, Delta-8 was added to the <a href="https://deadiversion.usdoj.gov/schedules/orangebook/c_cs_alpha.pdf" target="_blank">DEA's Controlled Substance List</a>. Along with all of the other avenues that the farmers and processors thought they could use if Delta-8 was shut down. </p><p>Members of the House of Representatives sent a letter to AG Garland and Sec. Vilsack on March 29 basically saying "Whoa, slow your roll," but I ain't been able to find any news articles that have reported on that at all. And I subscribe to a fair number of news organizations. </p><p>I am now tired of typing. </p><p>At the end of the day, there are hundreds of Kentuckians, and I am sure it is the case all around the country, that are terrified and not able to sleep. Scratching out out a living and now told it is illegal. </p><p>There is a whole shit ton of things that are awful in this world and we need to pay attention to them. This is just one that I noticed this morning and it piqued my curiosity and couldn't let it go. Looking into it today, Ms. Bougenies saw it coming <a href="https://abovethelaw.com/2020/09/the-dea-interim-final-rule-a-menace-to-the-burgeoning-delta-8-thc-industry/?rf=1" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="https://abovethelaw.com/2021/04/is-delta-8-thc-legal-yes-no-maybe/?rf=1" target="_blank">here</a>. But I will admit, I hadn't read what she was saying until this morning. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-26503406180089506642021-04-03T20:04:00.079-07:002021-04-03T20:51:53.922-07:00A Time Travel StoryMe: Fuck. ... It's fuckin worked. <div><br /></div><div>Me2: Hey?!? </div><div><br /></div><div>Me: Look, I only have a moment. I'm you from the future and you have to prepare now. If you put down...
</div><div><br /></div><div>Me2: Whoa!?! So, my future self found it important to talk to me! I knew that I was... </div><div><br /></div><div>Me: Wait? No. Shut UP! Shut up and listen. This moment is almost over and you... </div><div><br /></div><div>Me2: Ah, so your here to tell me how to save the world. </div><div><br /></div><div>Me: No! Well yes. But shut up. You have no idea how bad it gets, which is why you have to start now by...
</div><div><br /></div><div>Me2: What happens? </div><div><br /></div><div>Me: What do you mean? </div><div><br /></div><div>Me2: Uh... I mean... if shit gets so bad that "I" feel the need to travel back in time to warn "me" of the future. What the hell happend? Did IT happen? </div><div><br /></div><div>Me: No, who cares about.. You need to immediately walk down to the ATM at Casey's. I really honestly have no clue how much we had in a bank right now. But empty it! It has to be enough to... We can go to the bank tomorrow for...</div><div><br /></div><div>Me2: STOP! I ain't gonna lie, I am weirded out by you. You do seem like me. </div><div><br /></div><div>Me: I am you.</div><div><br /></div><div>Me2: Logicially, this is a scam. If you separate each... </div><div><br /></div><div>Me: For fucks sake, we don't have time for this. Just listen to me. </div><div><br /></div><div>Me2: Why?!? Tell me exactly what happens and why I should belive you! </div><div><br /></div><div>Me: Ok. Well, in four years the... you won't believe that. Wait, the President is going to go on TV and... no. That is absurd too. Ahhh, CERN is going to annouce that neutrinons react with... nope. </div><div><br /></div><div>Me2: Honestly, that convinces me more than anything else you said. What do I need to do? </div><div><br /></div><div>Me: ... </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-10091396898488951382012-10-15T13:55:00.002-07:002012-10-15T13:56:50.593-07:00King Romney and the Holey Math<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i.imgur.com/WLhTF.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="http://i.imgur.com/WLhTF.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-39362890777278686582012-08-18T21:36:00.000-07:002012-08-18T21:36:00.202-07:00I just found this video again. It made me happy.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Me7fukya5VE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-67351773409523457422012-02-14T19:43:00.000-08:002012-02-14T19:51:55.344-08:00Return (Again) of the No Name Comic<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EoTJ615_Z_M/TzsqLa1pDfI/AAAAAAAAAnE/VSjH_OqxPQU/s1600/ReturnAgainofNoName.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 269px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EoTJ615_Z_M/TzsqLa1pDfI/AAAAAAAAAnE/VSjH_OqxPQU/s320/ReturnAgainofNoName.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5709203328293473778" border="0" /></a><br />Seriously. I am going to return to the blog-o-sphere (is that now passe in 2012?)!!!!!!!!! I am also going to make some new comics. Believe it or not, there is an actual plot arc to these comics and I have sketched over 30 of them. <br /><br /><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2008/03/return-of-comic.html">This is still my favorite. </a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-30251214246360074882009-11-16T16:22:00.000-08:002009-11-16T16:23:28.036-08:00This Guy is My Hero<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/O66qDqfZm7k&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/O66qDqfZm7k&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-16576782060334691792009-10-14T16:13:00.000-07:002009-10-14T16:37:10.204-07:00Public Service AnnouncementIt is recommended that all households have smoke detectors but I believe that for homes with small children there needs be an additional kind of an alarm.<br /><br />The Quiet Detector.<br /><br />Tonight Anna had a board meeting and needed to work late. After dinner, I surveyed our living room which looked like a Toys R Us had vomited all over; and, being the super-human husband that I am, I decided that it would great if I cleaned the living room and kitchen. Things went pretty well with the living room, since Sophie only pulled out about 75% percent of everything that I just put away. I like to think of cleaning the house as a war of attrition and I only have to outlast Sophie for another 15 years.<br /><br />So I started on the kitchen. It was at this point that Sophie informed me that she was going to make a bed for Tiger Lily in the Parlor. I thought "Great! Anything to keep her out of my hair while I clean."<br /><br />This is where a Quiet Detector would have come in very handy. You see, I managed to clean the kitchen, make my self a drink and then turn on the BBC Nightly News, and I still hadn't heard a peep from my daughter.<br /><br />Obviously, I was suspicious and went to investigate. Sophie had in fact made a bed for Tiger Lily on the coffee table but at some point decided that the cat wasn't feeling well. So being the caring 3 year old that she is, she went and got the Desitin butt cream and applied<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/StZgfGkYIXI/AAAAAAAAAdI/tqo6HIob61s/s1600-h/ButtCream.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/StZgfGkYIXI/AAAAAAAAAdI/tqo6HIob61s/s320/ButtCream.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392603691278147954" border="0" /></a> a very liberal amount deep into the cat's fur. To "Make her feel better," as Sophie put it. Apparently, Wendy-dog wasn't feeling well either, because she also got a dose of butt cream rubbed into her fur.<br /><br />I have since cleaned the butt cream from the carpet, couch, pillow, blankets and everywhere else that I could think of (not to mention the poor animals' fur).<br /><br />The moral of the story is, while peace and quiet is what many of us dream of, the consequences of such quiet usually spells trouble.<br /><br />Hence why our household needs a Quiet Detector.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-65073133268269727612009-10-12T14:12:00.000-07:002009-10-12T14:14:23.150-07:00SmileI was having crappy day at work and while waiting for Anna I found the following video on my iPhone. It brought a smile to my face and became the 11,239 reason why I love the internet.<br /><br /><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ht96HJ01SE4&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ht96HJ01SE4&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-54740009142963213962009-10-09T08:38:00.001-07:002009-10-09T08:42:21.977-07:00Turning Plowshares Into Swords.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/Ss9ZzLFbAbI/AAAAAAAAAc4/WBIKYnuXDnI/s1600-h/ComicPeacePrize.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 365px; height: 413px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/Ss9ZzLFbAbI/AAAAAAAAAc4/WBIKYnuXDnI/s400/ComicPeacePrize.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390626014669504946" border="0" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-24550562278656375162009-10-06T09:19:00.000-07:002009-10-06T09:21:13.829-07:00Everything is Crystal Clear.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/SstubHnmRPI/AAAAAAAAAbw/zFToY2azQhg/s1600-h/ComicAbsurdityFlat.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 381px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/SstubHnmRPI/AAAAAAAAAbw/zFToY2azQhg/s400/ComicAbsurdityFlat.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389522791259587826" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-64590197483280021432009-08-21T10:22:00.000-07:002009-08-21T10:24:27.284-07:00Coming out of the Dungeon.Over the last ten years a trend has emerged that really gets under my skin. <br /><br />I am a member (or at least was) of an oppressed minority that over the course of many years co-opted the derogatory term that was used against us as a badge of honor. Life was never easy for us. Unless you were willing to be ridiculed mercilessly, you couldn’t openly ask others if they shared the same interests. The only way to meet others was by collecting phone numbers off the back wall in dimly lit establishments. You then called these strangers and made arrangements to meet at their house. You never knew what you were walking into and more likely than not, they were a little crazy. But you didn’t care. You would do this again and again, because damn it, you needed your fix. <br /><br />D&D (or more accurately AD&D 1st edition and then 2nd Edition), GURPS, MechWarrior, Call of Cthulhu, Rifts, Vampire, Marvel Superheroes, it didn’t matter. There was something special about sitting around a table with a bunch of guys (because it was always males), collectively telling a story. <br /><br />We had a our bags of dice, elaborately painted miniatures, shelves upon shelves of books, cases of Mountain Dew, Doritos, pencils, paper and imaginations that could not be contained by the borders of Kentucky. <br /><br />We were gamers and proud of it. But starting sometime around 2000, people that played video games started calling themselves gamers. I have nothing against video games and enjoy them occasionally but what they were doing and what we were doing weren’t anywhere close the same thing. When you play a role playing game (don’t even get me started on the video games that are classified as an RPG), you are participating in an organic story limited only by the collective imaginations of the people sitting at the table. When you play a video game, you are interacting with a story limited by what the programmer felt important to include. <br /><br />Both may contain very similar themes, but at their core, the two hobbies could not be further apart. In fact, I could argue that they are the very opposite of each other. <br /><br />But here we are in the year 2009 and almost exclusively the term “gamer” is used to identify people whose hobby is playing video games. What’s worse is that the role playing industry is moving towards making their games more video game like. <br /><br />Arrrrgghhhhh!!!!<br /><br />I know that I don’t have the time, but I really need to make the trek to the Rusty Scabbard, walk to the back wall and tear off the slip of paper with a phone number. <br /><br />I still have my dice.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-73637831276355596692009-08-04T06:53:00.001-07:002009-08-04T06:59:30.530-07:00Music MemeThere is a meme floating around where you answer a series of questions using the song titles of only one artist. I thought I would give it a try, but I must admit that I have cheated. I choose Jimmy Buffett, which really isn't fair since the man has 8 billion songs. I did challenge myself a little by only using song titles from albums he released in the '70s. <br /><br />Anyway, here you go. <br /><br />Pick your Artist<br /><em><strong>Jimmy Buffett</strong></em><br /><br />Are you a male or female?<br /><em><strong>Son of a Son of a Sailor</strong></em><br /><br />Describe yourself.<br /><em><strong>God’s Own Drunk</strong></em><br /><br />How do you feel?<br /><em><strong>My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don’t Love Jesus</strong></em><br /><br />Describe where you currently live.<br /><em><strong>Found Me a Home</strong></em><br /><br />If you could go anywhere, where would you go?<br /><em><strong>He Went To Paris</strong></em><br /><br />Your favorite form of transportation.<br /><em><strong>God Don’t Own a Car</strong></em><br /><br />Your best friend is?<br /><em><strong>A Pirate Looks at Forty</strong></em><br /><br />You and your friends are?<br /><em><strong>The Peanut Butter Conspiracy</strong></em><br /><br />What's the weather like?<br /><em><strong>Trying to Reason with Hurricane Season</strong></em><br /><br />Favorite time of day?<br /><em><strong>Livingston Saturday Night</strong></em><br /><br />If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?<br /><em><strong>The Wino and I Know</strong></em><br /><br />What is life to you?<br /><em><strong>Stories We Could Tell</strong></em><br /><br />Your last relationship?<br /><em><strong>Treat Her Like A Lady</strong></em><br /><br />Your fear?<br /><em><strong>Nothing Soft About Hard Times</strong></em><br /><br />What is the best advice you have to give?<br /><em><strong>Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes</strong></em><br /><br />Thought for the Day.<br /><em><strong>Something So Feminine About a Mandolin</strong></em><br /><br />How I would like to die?<br /><em><strong>Defying Gravity</strong></em>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-14672916357046738252009-07-31T11:56:00.000-07:002009-07-31T12:00:58.425-07:00Gather round the fireIt seems that currently the hip meme running through the blogging world is telling ghost stories. It all started with Stephanie’s <a href="http://sweetwaterjournal.blogspot.com/2009/07/ghost-story-part-one-which-is-mostly.html">very good post </a>about an experience she had in Amsterdam. From there it spread like wildfire and you can find other stories <a href="http://stinkbumps.blogspot.com/2009/07/presence-in-attic.html">here</a>, <a href="http://jessisscatteredmind.blogspot.com/2009/07/ghost-stories-part-1-home-front.html">here</a>, <a href="http://stinkbumps.blogspot.com/2009/07/devil-dog.html">here</a> and <a href="http://jessisscatteredmind.blogspot.com/2009/07/ghost-stories-part-2-bob.html">here</a>. <br /><br />For me personally, I am a little confused on the subject. On one hand, my favorite column in Scientific American is Michael Shermer’s Skeptic. I try to be a pragmatist and think rationally on subjects that on the surface seem to defy a rationale explanation. However, on the other hand, I have had some really really weird things happen to me in my life that I can’t explain in a satisfactory manner. <br /><br />I am not going to tell you any of the stories that have happened to only me because, while I don’t think it is the case, there is always the possibility that I am simply bat-shit crazy. I might be so freaking insane that my memories are complete bunk and my mind has somehow created these vivid memories.<br /><br />So no, the story I am going to tell is one where there was another eye witness. <br /><br />Before we begin, let me give you a little background. The other person present was my friend Jeff. While I don’t remember exactly how old we were, it certainly happened more than 15 years ago. Neither one of us liked to talk about this event. Especially if the other was present. I can’t really explain it, but it seems “wrong” to discuss the event together. Even now, typing this after more than 15 years, I feel a little paranoid. It is almost like I am experiencing the beginnings of a panic attack. I know that Jeff has already written about this story on his blog, but I have never read it. I just can’t do it. My wife has told me that his account is very similar to my account, but I am not going to go read it. <br /><br />Anyway, here is the story. <br /><br />One the best things about growing up in my neighborhood were all of the friends that were the same age. There wasn’t a square inch of that neighborhood that we hadn’t explored to the depth of detail that only youth permits. One of our favorite activities was spending the night at each others houses and then slipping out very late. We never really did anything bad. Just boys being boys. <br /><br />On this particular evening, I was spending the night at Jeff’s house. Jeff and I lived in what we boys called the “new section” of the neighborhood. When my grandmother developed the neighborhood, she created three different phases. The first phase was the “old section”, the second was the “new section” and the third was a section that had not been developed yet. <br /><br />Right in between the new section and the old section was a lake. This was a man-made lake created when a dam had been built in a deep valley. The quickest route for us boys to travel from one section of the neighborhood to the other was by walking along a path that went down into this valley on one side of the dam. The entire path was maybe ¼ of a mile long, at most. While fairly short, this area could be pretty spooky because fog coming off of the lake would settle into this valley and on one side of the bath was the foundation of an old pig slaughtering facility. <br /><br />This evening though there was nothing really spooky about the area. We had spent most of the night in the old section of the neighborhood with friends. At about 3 or 4 in the morning, we were headed back to Jeff’s house. When you are heading to the new section from the old section, you walk down a nice wide road until it dead ends. When you reach the dead end, you take a sharp right next to this nice elderly couple’s house and start descending down the path into the valley. <br /><br />We made our turn and were walking about 150 feet from the large triple car garage door of this elderly couple’s house, when suddenly the very bright light over the garage door came on and the garage door started to open. <br /><br />Doing what boys do best, we ran. Immediately upon realizing the door was opening we turned 180 degrees from the door and started running into the empty field. And this is where things turned weird. <br /><br />When we were about 300 feet from the garage door, both Jeff and I fell, face first. Somehow, and I have no idea how, we were then lying in the grass facing the garage door. We should have been facing the opposite direction when we fell, but we weren’t. <br /><br />I can’t speak for Jeff, but from this point on, I will be telling you what I saw. <br /><br />I am lying in the grass looking at this open garage with a large bright light illuminating the driveway, when what appeared to be about 25 to 30 “little kids” emerged from the garage. We weren’t that far away, but these kids looked blurry. They all were wearing some kind of grey jumper. These kids were running around in the middle of the driveway very fast, jumping up and down and making little squeaking noises. For some reason, I then and still to this day, want to call these kids German. They didn’t speak German and they were not wearing lederhosen but for some reason I want to call them German. <br /><br />These kids continued to run around, jumping and making their little squeaks for about 2 minutes then suddenly they all ran back into the garage, the door shut and the light went out. I then remember Jeff and me standing up, looking at each other but not saying a single word. Then the next thing I knew, we were both lying in Jeff’s bed. I have no memory of walking back to Jeff’s house. I just remember lying in the bed and going immediately to sleep. <br /><br />The next morning, I got up, maybe said bye to Jeff and went home. Each of us told friends about the story but for some reason could not talk about it to each other. It was years and years before either of us would even briefly mention it if the other was present. <br /><br />In case you are interested, <a href="http://theneighborhoodstories.blogspot.com/2008/06/truth-is-out-there.html">here</a> is Jeff’s take on the event.<br /><br />But I still won’t read it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-60319918614888923402009-07-22T08:31:00.000-07:002009-07-22T08:39:02.498-07:00Enjoy this brief intermissionI know the blog has been dead for a while.<br /><br />Sorry.<br /><br />In the mean time, enjoy this simple little Quidditch game I made in <a href="http://scratch.mit.edu/">Scratch</a>.<br /><br />There are some bugs but since I have only about 4 hours (I thought it was about 2.5 but Anna told me it was 4) of work into the game, I am happy with the result so far.<br /><br />Arrow keys control your Chaser and the Spacebar shoots the Quaffle when you are in the scoring zone (about the quarter of the screen close to the Rings).<br /><br /><br /><applet id='ProjectApplet' style='display:block' code='ScratchApplet' codebase='http://scratch.mit.edu/static/misc' archive='ScratchApplet.jar' height='387' width='482'><param name='project' value='../../static/projects/RoyandAnna/617727.sb'></applet> <a href='http://scratch.mit.edu/projects/RoyandAnna/617727'>Learn more about this project</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-83202684541616493632009-05-28T15:48:00.000-07:002009-05-28T15:55:22.039-07:00The Bell Curve of ComplexityI have been thinking a lot about complexity lately. We live our lives constantly interacting with different systems of varying complexity and scale. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/Sh8VJYmzOZI/AAAAAAAAAbY/G3Vdt43nnwI/s1600-h/beatles_russian_dolls.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 142px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/Sh8VJYmzOZI/AAAAAAAAAbY/G3Vdt43nnwI/s200/beatles_russian_dolls.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341010934052895122" border="0" /></a>These systems are nestled like Russian nesting dolls inside of, and making up, countless other systems. In Gödel Escher Bach, Hofstadter argues that our souls are the result of unimaginably large self-referential systems that fold back upon themselves (which book, I might add, has the most profound things to say on the nature of intelligence that I have ever read). <p> You can’t delve too deep in the rabbit hole that is looking at the world as an infinite series of systems, for that way lies madness. Or enlightenment. I don’t know which, but both are dangerous. I do think it is good to periodically stop and ponder on how large a role complexity plays in our lives. </p> <p> I read an article today about a man that has just finished building an 8-bit CPU by hand. His CPU is the equivalent of an Apple IIe or a Commodore 64 (the picture to the left is of his CPU). For most people a computer is the magic box that sends email, surfs the web, balances their checkbook, etc. The more you learn about computers, the greater their complexity grows. Computers become far more complex if you know a little programming. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/Sh8VT13bDwI/AAAAAAAAAbg/9ILzcpyZpLc/s1600-h/CPU.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/Sh8VT13bDwI/AAAAAAAAAbg/9ILzcpyZpLc/s320/CPU.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341011113705934594" border="0" /></a> But at some point as your knowledge of a system grows, the complexity of said system starts to decrease. </p> <p>“Computers can seem like complete black boxes. We understand what they do, but not how they do it, really,” says Chamberlin, the guy that built the CPU. “When I was finally able to mentally connect the dots all the way from the physics of a transistor up to a functioning computer, it was an incredible thrill.”</p> <p> I am seeing a similar realization in my own life. The primary reason I have been neglecting this blog is because I have been neck deep in planning the <a href="http://www.festivalofthebluegrass.com">Bluegrass Festival</a>. This will be the 36<sup>th</sup> year for the festival, which means that I have been a part of this festival since I have been alive (including in the womb). My earliest memories of the bluegrass festival are winning prizes at the vendor that sold kid’s trinkets, the sofas and recliners that were hoisted into the gigantic oak trees at people’s campsites and being shooed out of the store because I was always underfoot. </p> <p> As I got older, the festival grew in my eyes. I started selling t-shirts at the store and ice off the back of a golf cart. Backstage seemed like a place that I wanted to be, even though I had no business being there. When I turned 12, my friends and I started camping, which made the festival grow by at least an order of magnitude. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/Sh8V6B8DqbI/AAAAAAAAAbo/CBuEgKZiQgY/s1600-h/Festival+of+the+Bluegrass+047.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/Sh8V6B8DqbI/AAAAAAAAAbo/CBuEgKZiQgY/s200/Festival+of+the+Bluegrass+047.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341011769781627314" border="0" /></a>Suddenly, there were other campsites that we could visit (or at least spy on), beer to sneak out of coolers, tents to pitch and campfires to start. Move forward a few years and you add working gates shifts, organizing the schedules of friends to work, building overly elaborate kitchen areas, etc.</p> <p> Over the last couple of years, I have been trying to help my grandmother out by taking some of the planning off of her shoulders. The complexity of the festival as an organism in my mind has grown larger than any of the previous jumps. I never imagined the scale of “stuff” involved in planning such a large event. </p> <p>Here’s the thing though. I think I have reached some kind of plateau where I am realizing that no other person, besides my grandmother, knows the level of detail and complexity of this event but at the same time it is becoming simpler. It is hard to describe but, if I didn’t know better, I would swear that I can hear the heartbeat of the festival. At minimum, I have at least a small understanding of what the CPU guy was talking about when he said it was a thrill to connect the mental dots. </p> <p>I believe it is good for the soul to understand something so well that its complexity is stripped away not because you have removed its components but because you see it as a whole. </p> <p> Of course it is far more likely that I just need to eat my bowl of Wheaties in the morning. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-76543163297199795992009-05-10T09:18:00.000-07:002009-05-10T09:28:33.194-07:00I'm Lazy. So What?I still have not been able to find the mental energy to compose a decent blog post. A <a href="http://festivalofthebluegrass.com/Welcome.html">Bluegrass Festival</a> won't plan itself you know. <br /><br />Anyway, being the nice guy that I am, I have ran a couple of filters in Google Analytics and had it spit out a list of the most popular blog posts. So, I thought I would give you a trip down memory lane and write a blog post in which I simply link to my own blog posts. <br /><br />(I am very aware of how egotistical this is)<br /><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2008/01/chilling-out-maxing-relaxing-all-cool.html">Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool</a></h3>This is the most popular post on my entire blog. My only guess is that many poor saps think they are going to find the lyrics to the Fresh Prince.<br /><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2007/12/shit.html">Shit.</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2007/09/kid-nation-of-capitalistic-pigs.html">Kid Nation of Capitalistic Pigs</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2009/02/anthropolgical-study-of-parents.html">An Anthropolgical Study of Parents.</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2008/07/death-match-to-extreme.html">Death Match to the Extreme!!!!</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2008/04/by-power-of-rationalization.html">By the Power of Rationalization!</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2008/04/quack-quack-quack.html">Quack, Quack, Quack.</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2008/04/weapon-of-mash-destruction.html">Weapon of Mash-Destruction.</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2008/03/return-of-comic.html">The Return of the Comic</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2008/01/still-without-name-comic-2.html">Still Without A Name Comic 2</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2008/01/we-are-honorable-band-of-thieves.html">We are an Honorable Band of Thieves</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2009/03/all-i-really-need-to-know-i-learned-in.html">All I Really Need to Know I Learned in D&D.</a></h3><br /><h3 class="post-title entry-title"><a href="http://strangeite.blogspot.com/2009/03/white-mans-burden.html">The White Man's Burden.</a></h3>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-14887246086135837342009-04-28T06:55:00.000-07:002009-04-28T06:59:22.029-07:00I plead guilty to treason.<div>I know that I have been remiss in my civic duties to the Republic of Blogmoria. As soon as I created the fancy new banner for this blog, I immediately fell off the wagon and ceased publishing the thoughtful and illuminating posts you have all come to love.<br /><br />I have a really good excuse though. You see, I downloaded this new app for my iPhone called ‘stachtastic that allows you to add a mustache and beard to the faces of people. <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/SfcLF5pVuuI/AAAAAAAAAbI/OY3iVtEvWRM/s1600-h/Sophie.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329740880017734370" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 213px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/SfcLF5pVuuI/AAAAAAAAAbI/OY3iVtEvWRM/s320/Sophie.jpg" border="0" /></a>My favorite is the one called Osamabin’stachin. It has become a real problem. I find myself spending every waking moment (and the damn app has made these far outnumber the sleeping moments) adding humorous mustaches to peoples’ faces. My fingers have developed quite impressive calluses and gained so much muscle mass that they now resemble jumbo hotdogs from using the touchscreen.<br /><br />This addiction has resulted in more than just physical deformities. My internet routine has significantly suffered as a result. I just checked Google Reader and it gives the cryptic number of unread posts as 1000+. This number is a gross underrepresentation of how bad it has gotten. The subcategory of Apple has 985 unread posts, Geeky has 1000+ unread posts, Politics is 840, Science 1000+, etc. Hell, I have 913 unread articles from the BBC alone.<br /><br />Damn you ‘stachtastic!!! I am not sleeping, or eating, or bathing, and systematically you are ruining my life by leaving me no free time to do anything, much less think about a blog post. </div><div><br />Oh, and I guess working on the <a href="http://festivalofthebluegrass.com/Welcome.html">bluegrass festival</a> has contributed some to my lack of Internet participation.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-48717592429276349302009-04-01T09:30:00.000-07:002009-04-01T09:33:55.096-07:00Big Blue NationWith the recent announcement of Calipari as the new coach of my beloved Kentucky Wildcats, there has been an resurgence of the myth in the national media that Kentucky fans are too extreme and out of touch with reality. The myth states that we ran Tubby out of town because the entire fan base hated the man for not winning 10 national championships. I don't believe this myth is true. When Tubby left most people I know were upset that he left. Most people I know thought that Gillespie deserved more time. I am telling you, the vast majority of Kentucky fans are rationale human beings with realistic expectations for their program. <br /><br />However, I do think I know why this myth keeps being retold and I have numbers to prove it. Rivals is the largest college basketball website out there and has a fan forum for each NCAA team. It also happens to be the place where the pundits pull quotes from "crazy Kentucky fans". One handy metric is that each of the forums have at the top of the page a counter which lists the record for the number of fans visiting its forum at one time. I don't think it is too far a stretch to suggest that a fan that creates an account and logs in to a basketball forum is a "hardcore" fan. Most people watch the team on TV and maybe wear a hat with the logo; but, most aren't logging into an online forum to follow the latest rumors. <br /><br />So lets take a look at the most people logged into the rivals forum for some of college's elite programs.<br /><br />Duke 1218<br />North Carolina 1885<br />UConn 305<br />Florida (They don't even have a basketball forum, just football and "Other Sports")<br />Kansas 383<br />Michigan State 1039<br />Arizona 641<br />Maryland 727<br />Syracuse 1101<br /><br />Now let's look at Kentucky's record.<br /><br />Kentucky 22215<br /><br />You read that right. Twenty-two Thousand Two Hundred Fifteen. So, for our experiment, lets say that one percent of these "hardcore" fans are complete whack jobs. The kind of nuts that need psychiatric help and will say truly outlandish stuff. If you are Duke, you have 1.2 nuts, North Carolina 1.8, etc. However, Kentucky would have 222 of these nuts saying crazy things. So when you hear ESPN read these outlandish comments, keep in mind that they don't represent the entire fan base, it just seems like we have more of them, because there are more UK fans.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-73133019859938900152009-03-27T08:12:00.000-07:002009-03-27T08:26:08.927-07:00I FEEL LIKE I'M FIXIN' TO DIE<div align="center"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/ScztFWkMvYI/AAAAAAAAAao/mInqotTY8yQ/s1600-h/TalibanIphone.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317885936230251906" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 325px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/ScztFWkMvYI/AAAAAAAAAao/mInqotTY8yQ/s400/TalibanIphone.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><em>Well come on all of you big strong men,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Uncle Sam needs your help again,</em></div><div align="center"><em>He got himself in a terrible jam,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Way down yonder with Taliban,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Put down your books and pick up a gun, </em></div><div align="center"><em>We're gonna have a whole lotta fun</em><p></div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em>And its 1,2,3 what are we fighting for?</em></div><div align="center"><em>Don't ask me I don't give a damn, </em></div><div align="center"><em>The next stop is Pakistan,</em></div><div align="center"><em>And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Well there ain't no time to wonder why,</em></div><div align="center"><em>WHOOPEE we're all gonna die</em><p></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em>Well come on wall street don't be slow,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Why man this is war go go go,</em></div><div align="center"><em>There's plenty good money to be made,</em></div><div align="center"><em>By supplying the army with the tools of the trade,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Just hope and pray that if they drop the bomb</em></div><div align="center"><em>They don’t drop it wrong.</em><p></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em>And its 1,2,3 what are we fighting for?</em></div><div align="center"><em>Don't ask me I don't give a damn, </em></div><div align="center"><em>The next stop is Pakistan,</em></div><div align="center"><em>And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Well there ain't no time to wonder why,</em></div><div align="center"><em>WHOOPEE we're all gonna die</em><p></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em>Well come on generals let's move fast, </em></div><div align="center"><em>Your big chance is come at last,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Gotta go out and get those arabs, </em></div><div align="center"><em>The only good muslim is one that's dead,</em></div><div align="center"><em>And you know that peace can only be won, </em></div><div align="center"><em>When you blow them all to kingdom come</em><p></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em>And its 1,2,3 what are we fighting for?</em></div><div align="center"><em>Don't ask me I don't give a damn, </em></div><div align="center"><em>The next stop is Pakistan,</em></div><div align="center"><em>And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Well there ain't no time to wonder why,</em></div><div align="center"><em>WHOOPEE we're all gonna die</em><p></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em>Well come on mothers across the land,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Pack your boys off to Pakistan,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Come on fathers don't hesitate,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Send your sons off before its too late, </em></div><div align="center"><em>Be the first one on your block, </em></div><div align="center"><em>To have your boy come home in a box</em><p></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"><em>And its 1,2,3 what are we fighting for?</em></div><div align="center"><em>Don't ask me I don't give a damn, </em></div><div align="center"><em>The next stop is Pakistan,</em></div><div align="center"><em>And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates,</em></div><div align="center"><em>Well there ain't no time to wonder why,</em></div><div align="center"><em>WHOOPEE we're all gonna die</em><p></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="left">Well it is official. President Obama has announced that we are officially at war in Pakistan and not just sending drones across the border to blow the hell out of them. WHOOPEE.</div><p><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">Ohh, and the above picture is not photoshopped. It really is one of the Taliban's leaders talking to Wired about how he is addicted to his iPhone. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-11468962077809011042009-03-24T18:09:00.000-07:002009-03-24T18:16:04.953-07:00NERDS RULE!!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/ScmFxBHAmUI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/uv6w_Eba_sw/s1600-h/woz_dancin.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 224px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/ScmFxBHAmUI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/uv6w_Eba_sw/s320/woz_dancin.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316927912245500226" /></a><br />I just would like to take this moment to say that NERDS RULE!! The Woz received the lowest judges score for the last six years on Dancing With The Stars, yet after viewer votes are added, he ended up in the top 4. <br /><br />What else did you expect when you use telecom lines and the internet for your voting? The other contestants are doing battle on our turf.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1863335602654432800.post-65408894932342372502009-03-20T10:23:00.001-07:002009-03-20T10:25:43.276-07:00It is all a Pinko plot.<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/ScPRisNObrI/AAAAAAAAAaI/Dlx6e3KyxJ0/s1600-h/riaa.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 238px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ppq40CRur4Y/ScPRisNObrI/AAAAAAAAAaI/Dlx6e3KyxJ0/s320/riaa.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315322379139706546" /></a><br />HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! It looks like DRM not only punishes us average law abiding citizens but affects political leaders too. <br /><br />In case you missed the news, when Prime Minister Gordon Brown made his first visit to the White House he presented President Obama with an ornamental pen holder made from the wood of the sister ship that provided the wood for the Oval Office desk and a first-edition set of a seven-volume biography about Winston Churchill. A pretty cool and thoughtful gift. <br /><br />President Obama gave PM Brown a 25 disk set of classic American movies. The kind you see in the clearance bin at Best Buy. The English people were pretty upset and thought it was a snub by the White House. Personally I think Obama is a terrible gift giver.<br /><br />However, the story gets much better. Apparently, the White House bought Region 1 DVDs and not Region 2 DVDs. All DVDs are encoded with a DRM scheme to allow them to only be played on DVD players from the region in which they are bought. So PM Brown is forced to either throw the presidential gift of DVDs into the trash OR become a law-breaking pirate if it wants to watch them. <br /><br />When will the world wake up and realize that DRM is stupid and only handcuffs the good guys?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2