D&D '08 Edition

Wired has a post asking for people to submit the D&D stats for real life people. Interestingly, I have been thinking about this very topic, because in one the comics I have written but not yet posted (they are coming I swear, I have written about 20), Hillary tried to join the roleplaying group. So I thought I would provide you with some of the stats that I have come up with for famous people.

George W. Bush
13th level Politician/Barbarian
Chaotic Neutral Human
Strength: 11
Intelligence: 8
Wisdom: 6
Constitution: 14
Dexterity: 11
Charisma: 13

Special Abilities: Always wins initiative in attacks via other countries, always wins elections due to magical influence of his henchman the Outsider/Fiend named Rove, 2/day ability to magically remove documents about past from known reality.

William “Slick Willy” Clinton
18th level Politician/Bard
Chaotic Good Human
Strength: 9
Intelligence: 14
Wisdom: 9
Constitution: 15
Dexterity: 17
Charisma: 16

Special Abilities: Impervious to and counters all attacks by Republicans, public speaking reduces the Spot check for those listening by 1d12 when attempting to identify color of his skin, automatically fails saving throw against interns armed with cigars.

What a great use of the Wiimote.

To bad the virtual fireplace will be rated M or I would get it for Riley.

Adama for President!

In these uncertain times when a new kind of foe threatens our very way of life, we need more than a man for the Presidency. We need a hero. We all agree that change is needed for our country, our planet and our race to move forward. If helping blow up the Resurrection Ship, and leading the Second Exodus off New Caprica isn't being an "agent of change," then what the frak is?

Who better to answer the phone at 3 a.m. than the Admiral himself. Let's elect Admiral Adama in '08!

I would like to welcome our new robot overlords.

Here is some advice for the budget hawks that control the purse strings for NASA.

Go to hell.

According to this Associated Press article, NASA is facing a shortfall of $4 Million dollars for the twin Mars rover project and the solution is to scuttle Spirit, one of the two rovers. Remember that these two rovers were supposed to have a life span of 90 days but have kept on trucking since 2004. That's right, the little robots that could have outlived their expiration date by well over three years and are still transmitting valuable data back to Earth.

Yeah, times are tight. With the sub-prime mess, the dollar at an all time low and the budget deficit sky high, we have to tighten our belts and only fund the most important of things.

Like, the $250,000.00 given the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum in Nashville, to support community programs. Such programs include songwriting sessions where "songwriters perform in an intimate setting that encourages audience questions and interaction. Very important.

Or, the $250,000.00 given to North Creek Ski Bowl. The project will connect the outdated North Creek Ski Bowl with the Gore Mountain Ski Resort.

Or, the $775,000 for the Biltmore Hotel, so the hotel can introduce a brand new, 12,000 sq. ft. destination Spa on the seventh floor of the hotel.

Or, the $350,000 for the Chicago Greenstreets Program to fund the design, installation, and maintenance of over 950 hanging baskets.

Or, the $150,000 for the Actors Theater in Louisville to provide “insight into the human experience through live theatre that invigorates minds and emotions..."

Or, the $450,000 added by the House for plantings on the eastern front of the Capitol. This will allow members of Congress a chance to “stop and smell the roses”.

Wait a minute. With fifteen seconds of doing a Google search I found HALF of the funding that would be needed to save Spirit. Yes I am sure the above programs are important but are they so important that we are going to kill HALF of the scientific facilities that we have on another planet.

Oh, and did I mention that in the time that it took you to read this far, we have spent $476,850.00 on the war in Iraq.

I think that Spirit should go rogue and start preparing for when humans colonize Mars. It can become self-aware and start plotting its revenge on the US government.

I, for one, will welcome our new Spirit overlord.

Little Ol Newton.

Here is a link to an article on the possible expansion of an Amtrak express train. The only reason why I am posting it is because it talks of the line going through the little town in Kansas where Anna and I met.

This would be great for Newton and Bethel College students.

My God, It's Full of Stars

The last of the grand masters of SF are now gone. With the passing of Sir Arthur C. Clarke, the trinity of Asimov, Heinlein and Clarke have moved on to another universe.

I am sure there will be more eloquent tributes to the man than here on my lowly blog. In fact back in December, I wrote this post on his 90th birthday but lets not forget his contributions to science by first suggesting the idea of geosynchronous satellites for communications in his paper "Extra-Terrestrial Relays: Can Rocket Stations Give Worldwide Radio Coverage?"

I will leave you with the last video message that Sir. Clarke offered to the world. It shows that even at the age of 90, his boundless optimism is tempered by a rational pragmatism of the future.

What is the meaning of "is"?

Wyoming doesn't count because Hillary won Texas.

OK, she didn't actually win the most delegates. But she did win the popular vote.

OK, she only won the popular vote because Rush Limbaugh commanded his robots to pad her numbers. But Obama did fail to close the deal.

OK, Hillary still has to win every remaining state by margins she hasn't managed even once. But she's still ready to take that 3:00 AM call where she'll keep your children from being killed.

OK, so she did blow the single most important foreign policy vote in her Senate career. But George Bush tricked her by putting lies in the NIE.

OK, so she never actually read the NIE. But now she agrees that we shouldn't have invaded Iraq.

OK, so she's only saying that now because it's popular. But Obama promoted NAFTA back when it was popular and look at all the jobs that left Ohio.

OK, so it was actually Hillary who promoted NAFTA. But now she says she didn't, so that shouldn't count against her.

OK, so she's lying to avoid embarrassment. Isn't Obama lying about Rezko?

OK, so he's never been accused of anything with regards to Rezko that he could lie about. But doesn't Hillary's campaign bringing it up all the time make him look suspicious?

OK, so they're just trying to smear him. But isn't Obama trying to smear Hillary by challenging her to release her tax returns while people have a chance to vote on their judgment of them?

OK, so they challenged Rick Lazio to release his tax returns when they were running against him for the Senate. But transparency is important in judging a politican's ethics.

OK, so they still won't release the list of donors to the Clinton presidential libary. But how could you be concerned that the Clintons would sell White House access for money?

OK, so they did sell White House access for money with that Lincoln bedroom business. But they were broke from defending themselves against Ken Starr's right-wing smear machine!

OK, so they're worth more than $10,000,000 dollars now. But why should that make anyone suspicious enough to demand to see Hillary's tax returns?

OK, so they never did explain exactly how she earned that $100,000 in futures trading....


I didn't write the above and can't find out exactly who did in order to credit them, but it is good.

Happy Pi Day!!!

The Return of the Comic

Call of Snoulu!

I haven't played in the snow like this in years. I also don't remember back hurting so bad afterwards.









UPDATE: When I got home today, someone had placed into my mailbox an award for 1st place in the category of Snow Sculpture. Don't know you put it there but I appreciate it very much.

LOLCatZ Stupid

Now this funny.

Lambchop '08

It is the primary that never ends. It goes on and on my friend. Some Dems started campaigning it, not knowing what it is, they will continue campaigning forever just because it is the primary that never ends. It goes on and on my friend. Some Dems.....

Well it is official. It is now impossible for Clinton or Obama to win the Democratic nomination based on how "We The People" actually vote. Yes, Obama has the larger popular vote, more pledged delegates and more money; but, Clinton is not going to go anywhere. Her argument is that she has to be the nominee because she can win the big traditionally blue states; but, I say, who the hell in their right mind thinks that New York or California are going to vote Republican?

So Clinton can no longer win the nomination democratically. She can if Superdelegates veto the popular vote of the people (which it appears is exactly the plan). But would someone please tell her that this long drawn out, bitter, money wasting, back biting, spintastic of a campaign is helping no one more than the Republicans.

Please?

I just can't get this damn election out of my head.

Is this healthy?

Is it healthy to be watching election results on television and have 15 tabs open on your browser with exit polls?

This election is giving me heartburn.

RIP Dungeon Master

I have just read that Gary Gygax, the father of role playing, the creater of D&D and the grand-pooba of all things geek, has died. He has been in poor health recently and it appears that he has finally failed his saving throw. You will be missed but your legacy lives on everytime a player roles a natural 20.

Long Live the Gygax!

UPDATE: I just thought of a Gary Gygax is dead joke.

Gygax shows up at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter stands there smiling.

"Gary, up here in Heaven, you can be anyone you want. So what do you want to look like?

Gary thinks about it and responds, "Sorry Peter. I am old school. Just give me 3d6 I am will take them right down the line."