Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Htrae Attacks!!

For the past few days I have been at a loss to explain John McCain’s pick of Sarah Palin as his Vice President. I just couldn’t wrap my brain around the selection because it just didn’t make any sense. Then suddenly this morning it all became clear. Sometime during this long presidential campaign, Htrae, or as it more commonly referred to, Bizarro World, as started an invasion of Earth.

For those of you not familiar with Bizarro World, it is the world from which Bizarro Superman hails, and its population desires nothing more than to be the opposite of Earth. The Bizarro Code states, "Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World!"

I am sure that many of you are asking why does Sarah Palin’s nomination prove that Earth is under assault from Htrae. Let me explain.

The Republican Party’s first President was Abraham Lincoln, a man that felt so strongly in the need to preserve the Union, that he waged a war against its citizens to fight the belief that individual states had a right to secede from the Union. Now the Republican Party has nominated a woman for Vice President that belonged to the Alaskan Independence Party, whose platform is based solely on the belief that Alaska has the right to secede from the Union.

John McCain has based his entire campaign upon the argument that he alone has the ability to make the thoughtful and wise judgment calls that a President is routinely forced to make. Yet his first presidential decision was to choose a woman that he had only met once and was never fully vetted. He went with his gut feeling.

The party that likes to bill itself as the party of “family values” has nominated a woman that is going to leave her five month old son with special needs at home so she can participate in a grueling presidential campaign. Her 17 year old daughter has become an unwed teen mother. While I personally don’t think either of these are any of our business, it certainly is bizarre that she is the nominee for the party of “family values”.

The Republicans like to talk about how the Democrats are weak on national security and foreign affairs, yet they nominate a woman that has stated that she really hasn’t given the Iraq situation much thought and that the only argument for her having foreign policy experience is the fact that Russia is close to Alaska. Apparently we are supposed to believe that experience works by osmosis.

In the comics the reader is never truly worried because Superman always shows up to save the day; but, unfortunately here in the real world we don’t have the Son of Krypton. The last line of defense for Earth to hold off the current invasion of Bizarro World is the boy of a single mother with big ears and strange name. Let us all hope that Lex McCain doesn’t get his hands on Kal-El Obama’s version of kryptonite.

3 comments:

J. Stephen Waltner said...

Nice parallel. If McCain gets elected, I'm not sure even Superman would be able to save the world.

Nikki said...

Bwahaha, I just saw this headline on fark today. How funny.

Scary Palin's husband has a goatee. Is he an evil mastermind from an alternate universe?

Modernicon said...

All this talk about who has experience is making me crazy. Experience to do what? Be president? None of them have that, but they all have experience being elected: Senators, Governors. In my mind there is still so little difference between the candidates. They both reject the power of special interests that are clearly running their campaigns. They both claim to have "family values," and stand for "change," or to be a "maverick." Me? I just want to hide under my pillow with a six pack and pray that November will get here soon so we can all go back to feeling relatively secure in the knowledge that somewhere, somehow a politician is screwing us without having to listen to any promises to the contrary, but that it is alright because the popular majority actually put him/her into office.