WTF? An Internet Meme?

It has been quite some time since I have updated my blog; but, I swear that I have had good intentions. There was a post about the Kentucky Derby bouncing around in my head. Eventually I will get around to writing about how buying a used car is actually far better for the environment than buying a new hybrid, etc. etc. etc.

To make a long story short, none of these ideas actually became blog posts and here I sit with nothing new on my blog. Steph has come to the rescue however and tagged me do to a meme. What better way to fill space on my blog than with a good old fashioned internet meme?

Five Weird Things About Me.

Are you excited?

1. I hate pickles. Obviously I don’t find this weird because pickles are horrible; but, apparently others find this odd. My hatred for pickles is not a mere dislike but a red hot loathing that burns with the heat of the sun deep in my soul. For years I have been trying to proselytize to the masses that pickles are evil and sent by the Devil to corrupt your very soul. I remember a particular conversation with my nephew Trenton when he was about three years old. I informed him, like a good uncle should, that pickles were evil and sent by the Devil. He then told me, “No. They are good.” I responded to this toddler that of course you think they taste good, do you think the Devil would send to Earth something that tasted bad? My mother-in-law continuously likes to offer me pickles in some sick attempt at humor. It isn’t funny.

2. I am slightly obsessed with the foundations of civilization and humanity’s collective base of knowledge. It is cliché to say that we are standing on the shoulders of giants. And that is true, but it would be more accurate to state that we are standing on the shoulders of giants that are standing on the shoulders of giants that are standing on the shoulders of giants, and on and on and on and on. In fact, we are standing so high that it is almost impossible to see the ground. Here is the basis of my obsession. We have advanced to such a complex degree that we have collectively “lost” the foundations of our knowledge. If our society ever broke down and the support structure of our civilization collapsed, how well do you think we would do in starting over and rebuilding civilization? How many of you understand how refrigeration works? That is pretty important for modern food preservation. Do you understand the principals of how sounds waves are converted to electrical signals and vice verse? The most basic principal in long distance communication. And these are just technologies we have grown dependent upon in the last 150 years or so. Anybody reading this know how to smelt ore into metal? What about harvesting seeds from crops so that you can grow them next season? I could on forever about this topic. Let me just end by saying that I have been dwelling on this for about 12 years and have about 8 gigabytes of data saved on the computer and various CDs, just in case.

3. On three separate occasions in my life I have had someone claim that I am “special” because I was born in the month of October. The first instance was when I was about 8 years old and living in Hazard, Kentucky. I remember being at the Black Gold Festival and an old man (I would guess about 70) came up to me on the street and asked what month I was born. I said October and then he simply bent down, looked me square in the eye and said “People born in October are special.” He then turned around and disappeared into the crowd. The last time it happened was when I volunteered at the Scott County Public Library in middle school. I was working the desk and this elderly lady came up and said, “You were born in October weren’t you?” I said that I was and then she said exactly the same thing “People born in October are special.” Being older, I responded something like “Yeah, yeah, just like people born in November are special and people born in December are special.” She then bent over the desk and looked me in the eye and said, “No, people born in October are special.” She then proceeded to turn around and walked out of the library. I never saw her again.

4. I am a wonderful puker when I am drunk. For some reason I can puke my guts out and can be completely fine afterwards. When I was younger and more “wild”, I could be completely drunk to the point of sickness, feel like I am about the puke, ask the person I am conversing with to excuse me for a moment, go puke in a polite area, come back to finish my conversation and finish my drink.

5. My Google-Fu is strong. My affinity with Google borders on unnatural. I am not exactly sure what it is but search terms just flow through my fingertips into the ubiquitous internet portal. When someone else is using Google to find a specific piece of information, their search is like fingernails on a chalkboard; because, well, they just do it wrong. Let me give you an example so you can test your own Google-Fu. About a month ago, Riley came home with prize that he won at school. He thought it would be a wonderful product to sell at the Bluegrass Festival and my grandmother agreed. So, I was tasked with finding a place online to buy them wholesale. In case you don’t know there is a lot of plastic crap made in China and finding this one particular item is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Well one night after five or six beers I decided it was time to find this item. The only marking on the entire product is “Made in China” imprinted upon the handle. It took me about 10 minutes of searching and for me that is LONG time. I am not going to tell you the actual search terms that eventually resulted in the product, so you can test yourself if you so desire. Here is a picture. It is about 10 inches long and is made up of three different parts. The circular part that fits down the spiral and a handle used to launch the circular part. There are four LEDs powered by batteries. Good luck.